tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post3239002560684295592..comments2023-10-10T05:17:55.737-07:00Comments on Crushed By Ingsoc: Eating The Forbidden Fruit- The First InfidelityCrushedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02479751225625007588noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-80012717888954908492008-11-19T19:23:00.000-08:002008-11-19T19:23:00.000-08:00You know me, I'm about as amoral as it's possible ...You know me, I'm about as amoral as it's possible to be. But the loneliness of not committing to one person will get you in the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-44735813055352249012008-11-19T19:35:00.000-08:002008-11-19T19:35:00.000-08:00Shelly doesn't get it.Insightful post, mate. I ha...Shelly doesn't get it.<br><br>Insightful post, mate. I have been there, but on the other side: she cheated on me.<br><br>People aren't easily defined. We're complex creatures, and often we do things in opposition to what even <i>we</i> believe to be right, despite ourselves, and despite what we want (in the end) or think we ought to do. And sometimes we stick to what people think are the rules for really, REALLY bad reasons.<br><br>I appreciate your posts more all the time. You're not cutting corners. <br><br>And I dunno about Paul's sentiment - monogamy is a choice that hasn't worked out for most people. There is probably a good reason to think about that, but it remains a fact that more than 50% of couples divorce.<br><br>Perhaps our greatest task should be to understand ourselves?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-25487272584148731862008-11-19T19:55:00.000-08:002008-11-19T19:55:00.000-08:00It's not actually a proven fact that 50% of all ma...It's not actually a proven fact that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It's a guesstimate, experts are saying the stars are probably closer to 35-40%. But whatever. <br><br>The only thing that really matters here is if you are content with non-monogamous relationships and if the women you engage in relationships with are reciprocal.<br><br> I suspect you are making the animal testosterone argument to justify your inability to be accountable and have a mature relationship. But if you think never having that kind of connection is something you can easily live life without, you can declare me too high minded in my beliefs in the potential of humanity and tell me to go fuck myself. It's really not for me to say, but I have to wonder about your long emo-boy explanation of why you cheated and why it is likely and acceptable for you to do it again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-89626267936797837332008-11-19T23:45:00.000-08:002008-11-19T23:45:00.000-08:00Oh Crushed!Nothing wrong with intimacy, but there ...Oh Crushed!<br><br>Nothing wrong with intimacy, but there is with not sticking to an agreement, given or implied.<br><br>I guess the secret is making absolutely sure that everyone knows what has been agreed and that they are all happy to live with/by it.<br><br>Trouble is it happens people change. Especially in the years they become adults and move away from home like go to Uni.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-42754282926571077502008-11-19T23:48:00.000-08:002008-11-19T23:48:00.000-08:00And people should have a care for other people. Tr...And people should have a care for other people. Try not to hurt them, deliberately, or otherwise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-73271425080452765642008-11-20T02:01:00.000-08:002008-11-20T02:01:00.000-08:00Well, you are honest and I enjoy reading honest an...Well, you are honest and I enjoy reading honest and frank posts like these. Cool!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-70721058678322230192008-11-20T06:06:00.000-08:002008-11-20T06:06:00.000-08:00It shows a worrying lack of respect for the women ...It shows a worrying lack of respect for the women you end up with if you are not looking to be faithful to them in the first place.<br><br>You often write about never actually hurting anyone, or that at least it was never your intent to cause hurt. But really is it?<br><br>You cannot walk into a relationship with no intentions of at least trying monogamy and not expect to hurt the other person's feelings.<br><br>You have to start being accountable for your own actions and stop blaming your levels of testosterone or the 'system'.<br><br>We make our own choices.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-34758933119909625182008-11-20T11:30:00.000-08:002008-11-20T11:30:00.000-08:00Paul- :)Maybe, maybe.I just find it hard. I don't ...Paul- :)<br>Maybe, maybe.<br><br>I just find it hard. I don't seem to be cut out for these serious relationships- they get too much for me. The novelty wears off very quickly.<br><br>Martian- Well, I've been on both sides.<br>These days I see it differently. I'd nevr demand fidelity of a woman. I don't see who benefits. As long as she loves you to her full, what does who she has sexs with matter?<br><br>This obsession with identifying true love with sexual chastiy seems an anachronism to me.<br><br>I don't think we're meant to be monogamous. I think we're pretty much programmed like Bonobos.<br><br>Vicariousrising- This has always been the problem. I've often kind of fudged that bit.<br><br>I think I DO want that connection in some ways, but not the way its traditionally seen. I don't want someone holding onto my whole life like a lead weight.<br><br>I want the love to be- freed.<br><br>Moggs- Yes, these are the issues I wrestle with. Howe to find that Holy Grail of finding a perfect love that doesn't have a poisoned edge.<br>A love that can just be enjoyed for its own sake, without having elements of deceit or misery.<br><br>I do try not to hurt people, I do. But sometimes I can't stop them hurting themselves.<br><br>Kate- I'm surprised how well I remembered it...<br><br>It feels a lifetime ago, which, of course, it kind of was. But I still look back on that night. And I don't feel guilty, even now.<br><br>Joanna and I got back in communication years later and we never talked about it.<br><br>On the whole, I still think that night was one of the nights I started to grow up.<br><br>Bunny- Well, at least these days I'm honest. Or honest by default. I never promise fidelity, so if they think I'm likely to be, it's their fault for making assumptions :)<br>In fact, extra their fault because it's not like I disguise my beliefs.<br><br>I CAN walk into relationships with no intention of at least trying monogamy. I've done it for ten years.<br>I guess you say I could try it some day. True, but there's no guaranteeing it would work, even with the best will in the world.<br><br>When I was severely drunk I'd forget I was supposed to be being faithful. You well know I haven't a clue WHO I go to bed with quite often.<br><br>Deleted comment(s)<br><br>I'm going to say this once, because you seem to have real difficulty getting this.<br><br>I have finally made a statement to the appropriate authorities.<br><br>That's all I'm saying for now.<br><br>Don't make it worse for yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-32846816563388343612008-11-20T11:52:00.000-08:002008-11-20T11:52:00.000-08:00I have never cheated in a relationship. Couldn't d...I have never cheated in a relationship. Couldn't do it plain and simple. I like monogamy. I like knowing a person inside and out. Before I would ever get to the point where I thought I would be capable of hurting someone that way, I would break it off. To each their own I s'pose.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-45942431913849550862008-11-20T16:02:00.000-08:002008-11-20T16:02:00.000-08:00I never promise fidelity, so if they think I'm lik...<i>I never promise fidelity, so if they think I'm likely to be, it's their fault for making assumptions :)<br>In fact, extra their fault because it's not like I disguise my beliefs.</i><br><br>That's bollocks and you know it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com