tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post3534415066116856586..comments2023-10-10T05:17:55.737-07:00Comments on Crushed By Ingsoc: D- Everything a Woman Should BeCrushedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02479751225625007588noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-50907677436563409542008-04-05T16:03:00.000-07:002008-04-05T16:03:00.000-07:00Just love people for who they are and most importa...Just love people for who they are and most importantly you have to like yourself too...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-87175149500087576632008-04-05T16:04:00.000-07:002008-04-05T16:04:00.000-07:00Forgot to say I find the picture disturbing!Forgot to say I find the picture disturbing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-21589138083724763912008-04-05T17:26:00.000-07:002008-04-05T17:26:00.000-07:00Interesting story Crushed. I'm sorry though, I thi...Interesting story Crushed. I'm sorry though, I think dignity and respect for D should outweigh any risk to his career. I am positive the supply girl would be MORE upset about being bonked a FEW times, rather than just once.<br><br>A man with honour would say 'I could sleep with you again and again and not get caught, but it's 'right thing to do' to cease this now." <br><br>I think most women would respect him more for that timing, than a few bonks down the road when she feels thoroughly used.<br><br>"having to sleep with her" i think, is really a lot of crap. Simply, he respects his dick and career more than D and is justifying poor decision to avoid changing his behaviour.<br><br>Is this fair to say? <br><br>I don't think D should be silent in the back ground like a weak doormat either. We're not in the 50's anymore, dude.<br><br>Just my opinion, but I realise we think differently.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-23744407461796440932008-04-05T18:18:00.000-07:002008-04-05T18:18:00.000-07:00Cherrypie- I agree, you just have to let these thi...Cherrypie- I agree, you just have to let these things be, you can't force them?<br><br>Disturbing? The top one? Very close to D, except D is blond.<br><br>Ms S- It was a mess, a total mess. I was at him for ages toget himself out of it, but he just prevaricated.<br><br>Reason is, loss of that contract, could have put his firm out of business. And he badly wanted to change his title from X Manager to X Director, which he now has.<br><br>The Food business is very competetive, the big players can put a supplier out of business.<br>I work selling to exactly that sector, and I know how tight it is.<br><br>Fact is, yes, it got worse the more he did it. By late 2006, way before he'd even met D, she was really getting her knickers in a twist about it. I read most of the texts she sent him, and the ones he sent back, and she was definitely playing a game, I think.<br><br>She knew, I think, from some of the texts she sent, that he didn't want to see her, but also knew she could make him squirm.<br>So you could say, she was using him, but equally, it was his own fault. And I'd agree there. I told him he was just plain weak, but his response was that I'd be equally weak in the same circumstances. It wasn't an issue, because he wasn't actually committed at this point, though he did have a couple of girls on the go<br>But I don't suppose he minded the sex too much, even if she was pretty unappealing, and I think I did see a picture of her on a company website, and she wasn't great, that's for sure.<br><br>Still, by the time he'd started to see D, a year of this stuff meant that she felt that if she clicked her fingers, he had to come.<br><br>There was only this one occasion, where he had to oblige (if he obliged) because we all knew she was moving to another supermarket, one his firm don't supply to.<br><br>So, it was kind of a bit like Indecent Proposal.<br>But who knows if he had to?<br>I made a point of not asking.<br><br>D can certainly say her piece, but she does it well. She's very good, really, at asserting herself, she's no doormat.<br>She's a very modern woman, really. But very caring.<br><br>Let me put it this way, she's got the Baker to do things no other woman could.<br>A spoonful of honey does more than a gallon of vinegar?<br>Yeah, that's what D proves. She's always the honey and never the vinegar :)<br><br>I've never seen him treat a woman so well, he really takes care of her. And I've never seen her so happy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-64936347721433941562008-04-05T18:47:00.000-07:002008-04-05T18:47:00.000-07:00I realise so much more happens offline, that's the...I realise so much more happens offline, that's the beauty bloggers are not really every privvy to. I just felt for both women in the story.<br><br>Thanks for the expanded info.<br><br>Cheers<br>CAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-12452898428531370702008-04-05T20:20:00.000-07:002008-04-05T20:20:00.000-07:00Tastes differ and moral standards.Tastes differ and moral standards.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-81139890536871726292008-04-06T02:51:00.000-07:002008-04-06T02:51:00.000-07:00This post brings tears; and for a moment, time sto...This post brings tears; and for a moment, time stood still. Wonderful writing, Crushed.<br><br>> It might be all powerful, it might dominate, one or both parties might think they're meant to be, that they can't live without the other.<br>But point is, perhaps living WITH the other, is worse.<br>I've been seeing your point ;-) Yes, perhaps it's true.<br><br>> D was miserable in her previous relationship. But they never argued. She would just go away and cry herself quietly to sleep.<br>She should have argued then, you say.<br>No.<br>This is the point. If it's meant to be, he'll notice, and he'll come find her and comfort her. He didn't.<br>I see......... but really... okay, I guess you're right ('cos I seem to find that they never DO notice... and then you'll say that's cos it's not meant to be... :-))<br><br>Hmmm... as for sleeping with someone to protect his career; I'd rather he put D first. He could sort of lay out the options; 'I'll lose my job if I don't sleep with her'; and then leave it to D to decide (and then she'd probably have told him to go ahead! But I really DO think, he could have faked being sick or something)<br><br>Hmm... wondering, at the end of this, whether I believe it; that there IS someone who'd see you cry, and want to comfort you rather than want you for what you can do for them. And then the next question would be; yes, but could you love them back? And that's the problem....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-45834965411192956852008-04-06T04:47:00.000-07:002008-04-06T04:47:00.000-07:00How can you be happy over the fact that he would l...How can you be happy over the fact that he would lie to his woman and not to you, once a liar, always a liar. Don't think I'd like my sexual history put on show like this either by a 3rd party.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-88054970360296174282008-04-06T05:08:00.000-07:002008-04-06T05:08:00.000-07:00Only disturbing because the girl looks like she ha...Only disturbing because the girl looks like she has had far too much too drink and flaked out. But I guess she could just be asleep, then the image isn't quite so disturbing :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-42165455198776098622008-04-06T05:14:00.000-07:002008-04-06T05:14:00.000-07:00I'm having very mixed feelings about this post. Sh...I'm having very mixed feelings about this post. <br><br><i>She doesn't argue, doesn't answer back</i><br><br>How very forward thinking.<br><br>And I agree with Smack and Eve..and Nunyaa. At what point does he put D first?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-51192185710581030862008-04-06T06:00:00.000-07:002008-04-06T06:00:00.000-07:00Ms S- Life is complicated sometimes. Of course, th...Ms S- Life is complicated sometimes. Of course, the Baker used to make it so, because he'd start seeing women, then meet others, and because he didn't know how to end it, just end up seeing several at the same time.<br><br>I can't preach on that either, I'm no good at telling women I don't want to see them any more. I ended a two year relationship by text message, that's how lame I am at ending things.<br><br>Semaj- They do, I guess. I think my tastes are good, and the morals of our group are good solid values.<br>I actually think in many ways, we have very high moral standards. We look after eachother, I always asay, loyalty to your friends is the highest of all virtues.<br><br>Eve- Generally, if something is intense it's not REALLY love, it's just desire.<br>It's how well you fit. Can you just sit there in comfortable silence with eachother?<br><br>Yes, when you're tuned to somebody, you do. Because you're geared to watch over them.<br>In fact, you do pick all that up, even when it's not 'Love' love.<br>I could tell if D had been crying, she could tell if I was stressed, and we weren't an item.<br><br>I've known her come in, say hi, me say hi back, and her come straight over and say 'what's wrong?'<br>She'd just know.<br><br>You do know when someone you care about, is upset.<br><br>It's a conundrum, sure. It depends really. If I had someone I really cared about, then I'd have tried to get out of going.<br>But in normal circumstances, I'd put my career first.<br><br>Your last point, the root problem.<br>Don't love BACK.<br><br>That's always been where I've gone wrong. Trying to love BACK. It's a return gesture, it means nothing.<br><br>Love of your own accord, whether they love you or not.<br><br>Nunyaa- Ah, you don't quite see the ethical point.<br>Mates are mates. You guard eachother. To lie to a mate- a close mate- is to lie to yourself. Because hopw can I protect you, cover for you, etc, if I don't what I'm protecting or covering. Mates have to be totally honest with eachother.<br>He's not lied to D, ever.<br><br>But we're talking about here, is white lies. He'd never tell a serious lie. I need to always know the truth, so I can back a white lie up, if I need to.<br><br>So yes, there is a certain logic to it.<br><br>That's why pseudonyms are used:) None of it's any big deal. It's not like I posted details of partner swapping parties or anything :)<br><br>Cherrypie- I think she has had too much drink!<br>D, to be fair can knock it back. Miss Sambuca 2007. And when she orders Sambucas, she means people to down them in one swig.<br><br>Oestrebunny- I didn't mean it like that!<br>What I mean is, she's not confrontational. You can't get into an argument with her. Not that I've ever tried, well I think I might once when I was drunk, but she won't respond. It is impossible to get into an argument with her.<br><br>She just amazing people handling skills. She always seems to know what to say or what to do.<br><br>Amazing instincts, really. Sometimes, I think she CAN read minds.<br><br>He does put D first, in that he will look after her. It's even possible they may move in together- they're trialling it now.<br><br>It's been a bit of a shock to his system, he's never lived with a woman before, whereas as I have, several times, so it's a bit strange for him.<br><br>I think they will stay together, possibly for life even (?)<br><br>They're just perfect together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-19303660850311444252008-04-06T07:15:00.000-07:002008-04-06T07:15:00.000-07:00Lol, i understand being perfect for someone, I kno...Lol, i understand being perfect for someone, I know I am, but do they? Lol , all good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-84833617969530641742008-04-06T08:18:00.000-07:002008-04-06T08:18:00.000-07:00You are writing well again Mr Ingsoc... good post...You are writing well again Mr Ingsoc... good post and comments I am immensely entertained..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-73624882937009742322008-04-06T13:46:00.000-07:002008-04-06T13:46:00.000-07:00Another amazing insight into the male psyche, Crus...Another amazing insight into the male psyche, Crushed. "Because she took it seriously...." hmm....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-45805343788644976512008-04-06T15:08:00.000-07:002008-04-06T15:08:00.000-07:00I find this a pretty disturbing post on lots of le...I find this a pretty disturbing post on lots of levels. I saw it last night and did not comment but waited to see what others said. <br><br>Yes well getting drunk can get one into a lot of trouble and it is never an valid excuse for bad behaviour. However the old Baker compounded it over and over. He was weak, no doubt about it. You can't please everyone, sometimes you have to stand up and do the right thing.<br><br>I'm sure D is a wonderful woman, more like a saint with all that going on. I don't know if ignorance is a good answer to this.<br><br>The picture of the four of you, including Mrs C, ten years down the line just sounds too fifties for me. Men in one corner discussing "ideas" and women in another discussing their children and recipes and household hints. <br><br>That was then, this is now. Women don't go to university to get a PhDs or become MDs or lawyers or dentists only to fall back into that world when they marry. They have brains and ideas and opinions too. But maybe you are not looking for that kind of woman, although you should be because ideas are so important to you. Maybe you should be looking farther afield than in the pub.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-71510471903545946262008-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:002008-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:00Nunyaa- :) But maybe that's soometimes it. Even if...Nunyaa- :) But maybe that's soometimes it. Even if they don't know it, wait until they do. Or maybe they never will. Problem is, a lot of the time, one person falls in love, and the other then returns it out of a feeling of obligation.<br><br>I think, really, friendship come first. There has to be a friendship at the base, things in common.<br><br>Mutley- Thanks. Bizarre isn't it? I write intelligent posts from time to time, but the posts which go into decidely unintellectual stuff seem to be the ones that most amuse...<br><br>Welshcakes- Yes, I think sometimes, it happens. But it happens the other way round too, and I know, it isn't nice to be on the receiving end. I can remember being quite shocked the first time a girl made clear to me, I was just an extended one night stand.<br><br>Admittedly, neither of us- and that includes the Chimney Sweep- have a history of totally gentlemanly behaviour, but the Baker possibly tops the league in terms of loving and leaving them.<br><br>jmb- Which part is disturbing?<br>I guess I partly wrote as a snapshot into the real life that I and my friends live, it's a fairly accurate description of life for many in our generation, social class and types of career.<br><br>That would be the Baker's common fault, yes. And he was told, both by me and the Chimney Swep. In fact, worse. I can remember he gave me an assurance back in late 2006, he was going to sort it out. I was decidely pissed off, when she loomed into the conversation in Feb 2007.<br><br>There was a similar occasion, a month or so later, when another ex of his turned thirty, she'd booked a suite a hotel, very big occasion. Again, not tactically wise to bring D. But this wasn't so much of a problem, because it was in Manchester, I'd also been invited anyway, so D simply stayed and watched TV at his flat, knowing I was with the Baker at the party, so in a way, she had nothing to worry about.<br><br>It's quite like that, in many pubs round here. The women sit in their group, the men stay in theirs. In fact, go to the pub midweek, it's almost all just the blokes. Quite often, you'll find with good friends, their partners also become good friends.<br><br>Oh, trust me, I don't like stupid women at all. And D wasn't stupid. I don't want a housewife, not at all. D would never be that, I don't think.<br>It's about temperament, I think. D can be motherly, sisterly, and yet a very good friend. And yet, she doesn't take any rubbish either. She's very good at the old home truths. She's taken me to pieces a few times, but she doesn't shout. She'll just look at you, like a mother would and say 'But ***, you know what you're like...'<br><br>I wouldn't marry, but yes, I suppose one wants somehing stable, and yes, I guess I'd like her to be reasonably intelligent.<br><br>But not someone stressful, that's the point.<br>I guess the point is, I never, ever have argued witrh D, and nor has the Baker. She's an EASY person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-71274963651032270552008-04-06T17:00:00.000-07:002008-04-06T17:00:00.000-07:00I think the more you write about their relationshi...I think the more you write about their relationship, the worst it seems. You shouldn't have to be at a party for D not to worry about the Baker's behaviour. She should be able to trust him unchaperoned.<br><br>It would seem that this is not the case, and if they don't have trust, then they don't have much else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-2966637402722540382008-04-06T22:47:00.000-07:002008-04-06T22:47:00.000-07:00Ms Bunny- Well, I was there anyway. She does trust...Ms Bunny- Well, I was there anyway. She does trust him unchaperoned, it's just reassuring for her to know I'm with him, that's all.<br><br>They do have trust, yes.<br><br>But I agree with you, trust is everything. You do have to trust implicitly. And now you say that, now you've kind of got me worried, because I'm not very good at trusting people. In fact this post is about two of about five people I actually do trust in real life.<br><br>Doesn't bode well, eh?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-16339665845834621732008-04-07T10:29:00.000-07:002008-04-07T10:29:00.000-07:00Well a relationship being non-stressful is certain...Well a relationship being non-stressful is certainly desirable. I grew up in a very stressful household, with parents either fighting or not talking, so I have tried to avoid that in my own, which is not easy since I am kind of volatile but luckily I am married to an easy going fellow and it mellows me in turn.<br><br>It did strike me afterwards that this post was a bit too revealing of your friends and a tad indiscreet. It's OK to tell all about yourself on your own blog but since this puts one of them in a bad light (to my way of thinking) do you think he might object to it being here? Just asking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com