tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post7569277116772843796..comments2023-10-10T05:17:55.737-07:00Comments on Crushed By Ingsoc: Joanna, I Must Let You GoCrushedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02479751225625007588noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-54047717965758887922008-03-12T19:26:00.000-07:002008-03-12T19:26:00.000-07:00Well we all have to move on sometime...it's never ...Well we all have to move on sometime...it's never good for our future to dwell too much on our pasts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-26673353657428393702008-03-13T04:36:00.000-07:002008-03-13T04:36:00.000-07:00This brought tears to my eyes...Hmmm, I wonder, th...This brought tears to my eyes...<br>Hmmm, I wonder, though - you seem open enough about sex; what could have bothered you about her sexual behaviour....?<br><br>We all have our Joannas; the ones who set the course of our lives; whom we live for, almost, by virtue of the past we've had with them. But for me; I guess I'm still idealistic enough to think I'd go through those 11 years you waited before settling for second best. But then again, on one hand, it seems that if we don't let go of the past, we can't move on. On the other... if no one else compares to perfection, it wouldn't be fair to settle with someone whom you considered 'second-best', because that person deserves to be the 'best' to someone else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-16529119974722145322008-03-13T06:09:00.000-07:002008-03-13T06:09:00.000-07:00Beautifully written. "Letting go" is the hardest t...Beautifully written. "Letting go" is the hardest thing but we all have to, eventually.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-7800401085253178892008-03-13T06:11:00.000-07:002008-03-13T06:11:00.000-07:00Sometimes letting go of the past is the first step...Sometimes letting go of the past is the first step to starting the future.<br><br>Goodluck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-62006470055943889812008-03-13T11:52:00.000-07:002008-03-13T11:52:00.000-07:00Oestrebunny- I kind of forget I was dwelling on it...Oestrebunny- I kind of forget I was dwelling on it. It was always there in the back of my head. Every time a woman started to piss me off, I'd think 'Shut the f**k up, who do you think you are? You ain't a patch on Joanna.'<br><br>But here's something. D's a sort of Joanna, very similar personality. I wasn't sexually attracted to her, which is why our friendship works, because I never let it, I find it quite easy to control the sexual attraction to make sure I don't fall in love with friends, but often, there's a sense in which that personality type, is the type of woman I prefer to be around.<br><br>Eve- Firstly, it tends to do that to women, I'm afraid. I tell them that story, they quite all teary eyed, and then think they should try and replace Joanna, to sort my life so I can move on and not be such a Dorian Grey about life.<br><br>Your point on me current attitudes to sex; not then. This is affected the evolution of my viewpoint.<br>The relationship failed because she couldn't deal with the guilt she felt from being unfaithful.<br>Deep down, I kind of figured she was, but ignorance is bliss, and as long I didn't have to confront it, I was happy.<br>Because My view THEN, were those of a proper Catholic boy, I still had grandiose ideas about marrying a virgin.<br><br>Over time, my view on that has swung completely the other way, partly because I know now, that if I hadn't cared WHO she had sex with, because I got to slep with her every ight, with her head on my shoulder, that would have ben fine for me.<br><br>I loved her that much.<br><br>Welshcakes- Because it's true. She was just- lovely. Flawless. Her personality so PURE, so LOVING. She was just- nice.<br>That's it. She was just a NICE girl. In a real sense, she NEVER EVER did ANYTHING to cause me pain, except shag around, and if I hadn't had male pride, it would just have been heaven for life.<br><br>But hey, there ARE other girls out there as good as her. I know that now.<br><br>Ms S- It's taken a long time. But it does feel better.<br>At last, I don't think I miss her any more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-62955439990478320732008-03-13T20:26:00.000-07:002008-03-13T20:26:00.000-07:00You know we all make our first love into a huge th...You know we all make our first love into a huge thing in retrospect. Especially if we were cast off. <br><br>Even when we have other later relationships the first one is still the most important in our minds because that's when we learned what love was all about in real life.<br><br>I guess I would see my love sleeping around as not truly being in love with me. I think your current way of thinking about love is to accommodate this regret for Joanna. If love and sleeping around were the norm then why wouldn't everyone think this way? But of course they don't. <br><br>One day Crushed, the perfect one for you will cross your path and you'll look back on all this angst and laugh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-4005942039765247012008-03-13T21:14:00.000-07:002008-03-13T21:14:00.000-07:00I understand! It all changes things .... *nods* Ye...I understand! It all changes things .... *nods* Yes, that's why we change, and that's a large part of why I started out my blog the way it was; to be what one hates, because it caused one's ruin; to just bounce right to the other end of the spectrum, not caring anymore...<br>And now I see why you've decided that it's okay if one's partner wasn't completely 'pure' in a sexual sense; the person they are is worth so much more...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-46228572866519203312008-03-13T23:45:00.000-07:002008-03-13T23:45:00.000-07:00jmb- Ultimately, yes, it all comes back to Joanna....jmb- Ultimately, yes, it all comes back to Joanna.<br>I sdo think that a lot of current sexual jealousy IS a social construct, because it is overcomeable, and you can learn in fact, not to desire sexual fidelity from your partner.<br><br>I've not experienced sexual jealousy in years.<br><br>Eve- :) Bang on. If they are worth your love, then it's unreasonable to expect that you'll have their body all to yourself. That's just greedy and possessive.<br>If she's worth THAT much, you should be happy to share. At least you get the part of her that matters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-87962192411988879962008-03-15T01:01:00.000-07:002008-03-15T01:01:00.000-07:00By the way Crushed, does this mean that you would...By the way Crushed, does this mean that you would be sleeping around too? Would you really want to if this was the love of your life? <br><br>Like Open marriage? And we all know how successful that was.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-40661045099455402072008-03-15T04:57:00.000-07:002008-03-15T04:57:00.000-07:00jmb- :) Sadly, I doubt I'd have either the time or...jmb- :) Sadly, I doubt I'd have either the time or the energy.<br><br>Besides, the theoretical IDEAL, is being exclusive to a woman who isn't. If that makes sense. I think I could live up to the that.<br><br>I've not, to date, been particularly good on the whole fidelity thing, but I think it's honesty that is the key- not lieing or hiding things from the person you purport to love. <br><br>I think open marriage CAN work, in theory. It just needs a shift if ones own perception and rising above the desire to own.<br><br>Of course, this is speculation. I haven't actually tried this experiment out, which is why sometimes, I think I need to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-83122033195501325612008-03-15T14:10:00.000-07:002008-03-15T14:10:00.000-07:00Your post touched me and I have just read through ...Your post touched me and I have just read through the comments and I agree that honesty is the key issue.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com