tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post1143283691128075514..comments2023-10-10T05:17:55.737-07:00Comments on Crushed By Ingsoc: Love- Being Constructive About ItCrushedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02479751225625007588noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-1244073253559768652008-03-17T16:55:00.000-07:002008-03-17T16:55:00.000-07:00Very thoughtful post, there is so much I could say...Very thoughtful post, there is so much I could say on this...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-11513251606677787672008-03-18T01:09:00.000-07:002008-03-18T01:09:00.000-07:00> Pet and pamper me, I'll tell you I love y...> Pet and pamper me, I'll tell you I love you. Start shouting at me, I will dislike you very quickly.<br>*chuckles*<br>I think that's normal for everyone. We're not all like God, able to love a people who reject him :-) With our love, it needs sustenance... it doesn't thrive on hardship, especially if it isn't that strong ...<br><br>> People try too hard to make things work. Why? Give up on it. It's really not worth it. If it's meant to be, you wouldn't be arguing.<br>Hmmm... I believe here that 'meant to be' is what you both make of it *i.e., both partners have to work at it. When one gives up trying, that's when it's not 'meant to be'*<br><br>> But NEVER desire her.<br>And do the best you can to make her happy. Accepting of course, that you are NOT the man who is going to do that :)<br>Ahh... yes, that clause was needed. If what she wants if for you to be the one to make her happy, though, it's no use for you to do all the rest of it without desiring her; without being 'desired', you'd be cheating her of what other women have..<br><br>> Stop loving the reflection of you that you see in another's eyes.<br>Actually, I like this statement, only I wouldn't say 'stop'. After all; let's say someone sees you as beautiful and good, and someone else doesn't. Wouldn't you rather be with the former, because when you're with them, you see yourselves through their eyes? And in so doing, you're transformed; you begin to live as if you were as good as they believe you are.... In fact, it's as good a reason as any, I think, to love someone for the reflection of yourself that you see in their eyes ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-13500154999001410702008-03-18T03:11:00.000-07:002008-03-18T03:11:00.000-07:00I suppose it is slightly irresponsible to go round...<i>I suppose it is slightly irresponsible to go round letting women think you want to spend your life with them</i><br><br>Understatement of the centuray perhaps?<br><br>I do agree with you later on though, if it was meant to be, you shouldn't need to try so hard. A lot of people do stay together for all the wrong reasons and stop looking to what is right.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-24520638210465983092008-03-18T04:34:00.000-07:002008-03-18T04:34:00.000-07:00love is just something to spear you through the he...love is just something to spear you through the heart and make you feel shit<br><br>sorry slight "blurt" there<br><br>no love is wonderful, tremendous, heartmeltingly waterful, like the melting icecaps... yeah<br><br>so why is MY heart still so bloody sub-Siberian?!?!?!?!????<br><br>;->...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-33601304049917991302008-03-18T08:44:00.000-07:002008-03-18T08:44:00.000-07:00Once again you amaze me Crushed. That you can dash...Once again you amaze me Crushed. That you can dash off this before or after going to the pub.<br>It must be constantly swirling around in your mind.<br>To be in love and be loved in return is the most wonderful thing in the world. But to have someone love you whom you don't love or love someone who doesn't love you is hell on earth. <br><br>Better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. I don't really believe that. But I do think that to let someone go who does not love you is the right thing to do, painful as all getout but right.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-49232165599519778432008-03-18T12:00:00.000-07:002008-03-18T12:00:00.000-07:00Cherrypie- You have to remember, It's the end of a...Cherrypie- You have to remember, It's the end of a LONG thought process. Literally, years have thought are summed up in this post- or the result of the ultimate development of that thought process.<br><br>Eve- You're right, and to be honest, I'm actually quite emotionally demanding. Some would say I'm an emotional vampire, but I think that's unfair.<br>I need continuous bursts of constant stimulation, buzzing off people basically, interspersed with little breaks of reflection time to gather my thoughts. That's how I live. I really can't cope well with irritations. Challenges yes, irritations, no.<br><br>Well Eve, in this instance, I'm not the one to try. Being brutal, I can't be bothered. It's not worth it. I've got friends, I've got interests, I don't REALLY need a woman. It would be nice, if I could find my ideal vision, but I'm not giving nothing up, and not altering any aspects of my life as I currently lead it.<br><br>This is the mistake, because that's why the intial period is great. There's nothing so uplifting as watching someone fall in love with you. Here's the problem. If you can spot, that although they won't admit it, they ARE starting to fall for you, tempation is, to love their falling in love with you, and want more.<br><br>DANGER, DANGER, HIGH VOLTAGE!<br><br>And then two months later you realise 'But actually they're a pretty crap personality, really. They bore me senseless and my mates hate them'.<br><br>Trust me, it's a never ending cycle.<br><br>Oestrebunny- Well then, it's a good job that we have already established that we have irredeemably irreconcilable views on the subject of children, and therefore the subject could never rear it's head :)<br><br>I am the master of understatement. A couple of drinks, it's not the cheapest, that sort of thing.<br><br>They do. Chimney Sweep's sister H, did that. I think there's 'Fall for Visa seekers gene in the family, because she married this Mexican George, who basically, well, had this non-existant band that he acted as a roadie for, if you get what I mean, and she took him back, even though the Chimney Sweep and myself had almost given him a proper hiding at this barbecue for just completely disrespecting her in fron her face with this black chick dressed as a nun.<br>Anyway, after the two year statutary period, he buggered off again.<br><br>Shame for H though, she's a smashing girl. If she weren't CS's sister, I'd probably look at her almost romantically, she's that nice. But it would feel like incest.<br><br>Gledwood- It can do, I suppose, if you just want to own someone. That's desire. If you try move over more to the platonic variety, which doesn't want to own, and which can, I think, be in many ways DEEPER than the desiring somebody type, you always feel the warm feeling.<br><br>jmb- In this case, sandwiched round the trip to the pub. I stopped halfway through to catch the second half of Birmingham- Newcastle.<br>We drew.<br><br>It is pretty much. People I think too much, and really I do. I do it constantly non stop, which is why I often just can't sleep. I'm not so ggod in one to one conversation (as opposed to geoups), because I have a tendancy to let my mind wonder. Same in meetings. Or TV- can't watch it if I'm alone in the room, can't focus on it.<br><br>I think on the way to work, I've done pitches with half my mind on the Cambrian Explosion, really, the inside of my head is, I often realise, racing at a constant rate, that most people can't really appreciate it. In RL, it does come out, in the high octane, stream of consciousness diatribes I can launch into in front of close friends, pretty much like my posts are written, but much longer.<br><br>IT is hell on earth, I had it with Claire.<br>And the worst of it was, it was a fairly naked dynamic. I know she knew, and she knew I knew.<br>Because she told me. She told me when she was concussed after a car accident. She actually said 'Do you know why I hate you? Because (She named her previous boyfriends), they all loved me. And I didn't love them. But I love you. And I know you don't love me. And that's why I hate you.'<br><br>And me? What did I do?<br><br>I looked out the window, sucked in my breath and I thought of Joanna.<br><br>Both of us pretended the conversation never happened.<br><br>But it did. And it ruled everything ever after.<br><br>The entire relationship was dominated by mutual distrust, jealousy, pointless sex and some lovely daytrips round English Heritage sites, because really, it was the only thing we had in common.<br><br>Shouldn't have got into it. Don't fall in love with them falling in love with you. That's how I ended up with Claire.<br><br>Problem is, I really don't know how to go about going for a woman who isn't falling in love with you.<br>Never done it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com