tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post149915806008698423..comments2023-10-10T05:17:55.737-07:00Comments on Crushed By Ingsoc: TrustCrushedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02479751225625007588noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-51917574524516906592008-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:002008-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:00If that's your attitude towards women, then it's n...If that's your attitude towards women, then it's no wonder your relationships fail.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-59256195410435072692008-11-24T15:21:00.000-08:002008-11-24T15:21:00.000-08:00Ah, I think I begin to understand. Your principles...Ah, I think I begin to understand. Your principles are a massive shield to protect you from intimacy. No one could possibily live up to your standards, so when they fail your trust test by having the audacity of being insecure about having competition (from a man who doesn't believe in monogamy no less), you can turn around and blame her for not having the moral fortitude to trust you and this causing the rift in the relationship. <br><br>I'm curious. How many women have you been out with where the end of the relationship was ugly, mainly with her hating your guts and screaming at you about what a horrible person you are and you telling her it was her fault for getting the wrong idea/smothering you etc?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-26784402569223648742008-11-24T15:56:00.000-08:002008-11-24T15:56:00.000-08:00I like being honest and open. I like the fact that...I like being honest and open. I like the fact that I am somebody who will share themselves, so we are definitely the opposite on this view. <br><br>I prefer people who are honest and open too - who will sit and swap stuff...that's how you strenghten relationships and connections with others.<br>My brother doesn't like to say a lot and gives nothing away and it infuriates me!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-86572093981566215872008-11-24T20:01:00.000-08:002008-11-24T20:01:00.000-08:00i gotta tell you, i'm on your side here--and i've ...i gotta tell you, i'm on your side here--and i've been in a relationship a <em>very</em> long time.<br><br>i can't imnagine being the person who is always asking "whatwherewhen"...and i'm normally happy to talk to The Girlfriend about things...and she's trusting enough to know she doesn't have to ask.<br><br>in the usa all of this is a matter of criminal law.<br><br>the police use the "if you have nothing to hide..." line constantly when interrogating suspects--despite the fact that silence is a guaranteed right under the constitution.<br><br>a famous series of supreme court cases gave rise to the "<a href="http://www.mirandawarning.org/mirandawarningfaq.html" rel="nofollow">miranda warning</a>", with which you may already be familiar.<br><br>i would not be inclined to answer questions other than the identification answers required by law just for the desire to stand strong with the constitution--and the fact that i have nothing to hide...or that i might...is not an factor in that calculation.<br><br>finally, i've noticed in my personal life that i'm more likely to be told things <em>because</em> i'm the one who doesn't ask questions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-36763564271193974822008-11-24T23:41:00.000-08:002008-11-24T23:41:00.000-08:00Crushed, I do so agree with you on not giving out ...Crushed, I do so agree with you on not giving out information, especially not to companies and officials, but even generally. Not so much with friends though.<br><br>I have news for you though. I can think of a reason why someone might want to know your sexuality, They are maybe wondering if they can get in your pants ^_^.<br><br>The “nothing to hide” argument is always used to bamboozle people into giving up their right to privacy, or to satisfy idle nosy curiosity.<br><br>I usually go for the “prefer not to say” option, mostly for basically the same reason you do. I know they say they want to know to make sure they are being fair to ethnic minorities and homosexuals, but I think it is really dubious that they collect this sort of information and it is scary how much is out there and could be brought together.<br><br>I figure your Gran asks because she is naturally interested in knowing if you will be sending her genes into the future and hoping she will get a chance to see the next one in the relay. It sounds just a little mean to me, for you to answer like that.<br><br>Trust is very important in a relationship. If you have been bitten once with one person with another you still need to just trust again, no being twice shy there… OK you still be twice shy with the same person who bit you, but I do think I tend to naturally trust unless and until I get my nose rubbed in something, am I dumb?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-83196302036500431452008-11-25T16:33:00.000-08:002008-11-25T16:33:00.000-08:00i have some friends that read my blog and i guess ...i have some friends that read my blog and i guess it does temper the things that i might say here.<br><br>is that the reason why you don't want your friend to read your blog?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-31338123622615023272008-11-25T17:14:00.000-08:002008-11-25T17:14:00.000-08:00Bunny- :)Who said they fail?Everything is meant to...Bunny- :)<br><br>Who said they fail?<br>Everything is meant to come to an end some time. :)<br>I never expect them to last in the first place.<br><br>VicariousRising- Funny you should say that, it's often been side that there is a wide divergence in my two standards.<br>I don't have a problem with intimacy on one level, no. In fact I'm quite dependent on it. In fact, although I'm quite easy, it's not so much the sex that interests me as the physical intimacy. But the intimacy you're speaking about, no, I try to keep that separate from sex and I do set what are very hard standards as a pre-condition for combining them.<br><br>A few. I won't deny that. A few. Though oddly, the only woman I really loved got back in contact with me several years after and we ended up becoming quite platonically close again.<br><br>But yes, there is a club out there of exes who use my face as a dartboard. :)<br><br>Kate- Well, I think I am quite honest and open. I think I do give away a lot of information, to be fair, that most people don't. I think I'm FRANK.<br><br>However, where I'm going, what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with, is my business.<br><br>FC- Exactly, trust is kind of the key.<br>And anyway, ignorance really is bliss.<br><br>It's interesting what you say about Police interrogation. Of course, in this wonderfully free Police state they've gone and 'amended' (read practically abolished) the right to silence.<br><br>What it means is that the jury has the 'right to draw adverse inference' from your having NOT said anything.<br><br>The Police charge USED to read 'You have the right to remaim silent'. To this has now been added 'But it may harm your defence and if you do not say now something you later rely on in court'.<br><br>This always makes me ponder. Because the more I think about it, the more I think that actually, it would be far better if the prosecution couldn't use any statements from the defendant at all. That Police could still interview suspects to try gain information, but that they couldn't actually use their words in evidence. They actually had to have other evidence.<br><br>I think that actually would be a lot fairer.<br><br>And yes, as to your last point, I find that. It really is AMAZING the things people tell me.<br><br>Moggs- Well, as my ex flatmate said 'When I first met you, I thought you were gay'.<br>I asked 'For how long?'<br><br>She said 'Till you made eye contact'.<br><br>I actually always make sure they know I class myself as an ethnic minority, but I guess that's just to make a point. Whilst they list 'White Irish' as a separate ethnicity, I'll tick it every time.<br><br>It's not mean to answer like that, just honest. If one day I happen to be present at the birth of a baby, and the mother of that child has lived under the same roof as me, or for other reasons the paternity isn't in serious dispute, then I will take said child to might it's grandparents and great grandmother. Till then, the whole subject is none of their business. :)<br><br>No, I think you're right. trust until proven otherwise, rather than distrust until you're sure you can.<br><br>Easier said than done, but best to be open to it, I think.<br><br>Projectivist- Partly, yes. I mean my political opinions are no great shock to him. He knows all that side of me.<br>But I wouldn't want him reading the more sentimental stuff.<br>Or some of the posts where I talk about me and him. We're blokes, we hug eachother like men, we don't tell eachother how we feel. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-44175649336068963032008-11-25T23:35:00.000-08:002008-11-25T23:35:00.000-08:00About your Nan. I still say you are mean. She has ...About your Nan. I still say you are mean. <br><br>She has an interest in you ‘cos she loves you and wants what she sees is the best for you, she also has an interest in her genes I guess. Not a right I know, but there are ways, and ways, of doing things and saying stuff. Be Nice.<br><br>As for “I never expect them to last in the first place.”!! <br><br>Would you say the same about your relationships with your mates? I bet not…Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334391160365031546.post-54246776170112793502008-11-27T07:32:00.000-08:002008-11-27T07:32:00.000-08:00I never ask more or expect more than the other is ...I never ask more or expect more than the other is prepared to offer. Trust is the same as respect, it is earnt not given.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com