I had a phone call today from a friend.
Basically, she wanted to borrow a fair amount of money to pay a deposit for a house to rent. Well to be fair, she didn't ask. I ended up offering. I suppose I have kind of a soft spot for her, and I think she knows it.
Unfortunately or not, this is what I can't work out, she took me up on the offer.
She text me letter to say she'd cried over it.
Problem is those nagging doubts.
I'm sure she would make every effort to pay back as soon as she could.
The money is doing a better thing giving her a hand now than making me an accomplice to usury.
But it's slightly more than, worst case scenario, I'd feel comfortable writing off.
I'd rarely bet that much money.
But the equation still says to me, in principle I should really just lend her the money. If it's lost, it went to a good cause. If I get it back that will show you a good judge of character.
So surely, I can't lose by lending it, in the higher scheme of things?
So why do I feel the nasty pull of avarice, trying to tie up my purse strings?
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
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11 comments:
Mr Ingsoc - I need some money to rent a house -any chance? See ,the answer is no isn'tit. How did the Radioactive Howler Monkeys get you into trouble,they are pesky creatures - not better for being highly intelligent. Did I tell you one of them has solved Foucault's Theorem?
It's important to keep boundaires in relationships and the fact that you feel uncomfortable is something you need to consider - you may feel this loan is not within your friendship boundary. Lending money to friends does not always have an happy ending... it may still be worth getting something in writing... but I best not keep writing, else you might think I'm your mother! Good luck with it and let me know how it goes. Michelle
Off to meet her now to discuss it. Have a position she may be using the old hand holding, eye contact thing.
And hell, I'm the kind of sucker who falls for that stuff every time.
I would say you are wise to listen to your instincts, this arrangement should be formalised and made legal, it's only fair on you and if she is a good friend, she will instantly agree.
Maybe you should direct her to Zopa. The latest internet fad ... Social Lending. Kind of like an Ebay in the guise of a bank.
* Zopa is the Social Lending marketplace where people meet to lend and borrow money.
* Borrowers get flexible loans at low, low rates. They can repay their loan early, or in lump sums, at no extra cost.
* Lenders choose their rates and put their money on the marketplace. They earn interest from the moment they transfer money in, and start earning even more when it gets lent out.
So everybody wins — except the banks, of course.
^^ I'm not sure, but if you arrange the loan through this .. you will probably be legally covered. Everyone wins.
You say if it's lost, it went to a good cause. But how is giving money to a con artist/bullshitter/slacker who walks away from debts a good cause? Because the only way you lose the money is if she is one of the above.
So you have really just gambled, plain and simple, on your good judgement. At least if you get it wrong you can learn a lesson there, can't you?
Yes, it is gambling Nigel.
But if people you care about aren't worth taking risks for, what is?
I take your point, Ellee and Michelle. I know she would agree. After the conversation wejust had.
David, I'll check Zopa out.
Hey...nice blog Ingy.
And you have an in-house shrink.
That's very cool.
Now, about your dilemma...I have piles of dough these days but it wasn't always like that. Long story short, I hate lending money to friends as it inevitably ends in tears, however I hate seeing their anguished little faces, so I've started drawing up contracts.
For their souls.
If they defaulted on the repayments, I would take possession of their souls. They all think I'm quite insane when I make them sign the papers, too...but you know what...
I haven't had ONE default since I began the practice. Even the godless pagans amongst them don't want to take the chance...
It's not avarice you feel - it's gnawing doubt. I think you feel it's justified. However, it's done now and you have to keep within range of her, without making your presence intolerable.
Incidentally, I can't get Michelle Tempest to my site. How do you do it?
Neither a borrower or a lender be.Or is it got my mind on my money and my money on my mind? I borrowed money from my brother 7 years ago and even though I did pay him back we are still not speaking because of it.
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