Fool God

Dreaming..



I’m in the place where old people go. Finally, I have found it.


I’m standing in some sort of lobby, in an area partitioned by red ropes. We’re pretty high up-the lift only brings special people to this floor. I guess I must have sneaked in somehow. I seem to see myself, a small, black haired little boy, standing right in the middle of the open space. There are officers all around.


On my left is a door, a red door. It is closed and guarded by sentries. Behind me is a green door. In front of me, beside the lift, a corridor leads to the other quarters. As soon as a new resident comes up in the lift, he or she is assigned to a room. I realize that they will stay here for the rest of their life.


A middle-aged man is ushered through the red door. And then a white-haired man is taken along the corridor. I see. The old ones go there. With a sense of complacency , I think, “Wow, I wonder what they’ll do with me..? Guess they don’t get people like me around.” I am fearless, because I know that they have no authority to touch me.



And then I see myself, white-haired, old and bent. And I realize I have grown old. I smile ironically before I watch myself being taken off along the corridor.




.....




Thinking ...


It is multicoloured and transparent. In parts, it is worn thin. I am afraid that one day holes will break out in those parts, if I am not careful. Some parts are covered in irremovable dirt and grime. I try to ignore them. Others are stained with blood. I avert my eyes. I desperately search for a clean area. It is a difficult task because my soul is knotted and entangled in many places. I try to unravel the mess, to sort out the confusion, but I cannot find its starting point. It just goes on, a long, messed-up soul.


As I hold it, I notice spiders spinning their webs between the dark spaces. Silverfish burrow through the silky material leaving tiny punctures. And at the edges, which seem to have been dipped in honey, ants greedily eat away at the helpless substance. I want to drop it yet dare not.


I contemplate putting it back in my body but shrink from the thought. So dirty.......I can’t possibly live with a soul like that. There is a nagging deep in my heart. It says, “Look what you’ve done! I can’t help you now.”


I don’t know what to do. Perhaps I can live without a soul.... After all, I’ve heard of people selling their souls to the Devil. No matter what, I won’t accept it back into my life. I seem to be doing ok with it out of my body, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t get along just fine without it. I remember Dorian Gray-it worked for him....


Or perhaps I can steal someone else’s soul. I’m sure I would use it to better advantage. So many poor souls wasting their lives, I’d be giving them a chance at a bright future....


Yes, after all, nothing is impossible. And I have the will to survive.


....




Believing ...


Fool God



A fool loves unconditionally

So perhaps, fool is he

Who gave his life for me

Fool, to choose to die

For a sinner such as I

I’ll walk away, and He’ll have lost

Wasted, the price it cost

Spilt, like blood on the ground

Money, when it doesn’t count

But then again, fool am I

To look a gift horse in the eye

Yet we’re free men

We can choose to lose

To forget sorrows in booze

With pride, I’d take my own way

Ignore every question of salvation

I’d do it, no problem


But I want to be wise

To think twice, to choose life

So pride will have to go

As I humble myself before his throne

And nevermore will I walk alone




- copyright 2001 -




It's like putting on dirty clothes.... imagine having to live each day with that same mucky soul. So just like clothes need washing, I guess hearts need cleansing; and God offers that. We all have our pasts; but God gives us a future worth living. A brand new soul.



"Come now, let us argue this out," says the Lord. "No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)