Miles

Interesting post by Princess Pointful on expectations we have of people we've never met.

I actually do have a kind of experience of something in that vein, which may be worth describing. An unusual sensation, perhaps, but one which will, I guess increasingly be the norm of human existence- especially as a medium such as this takes off.

I first met the Baker at uni. And as the first year progressed and he, myself and another lad used to spend hours listening to The Prodigy, playing Worms and Tekken Two and passing joints to eachother, from time to time he'd say 'You'll have to come down to Bournemouth in the summer holidays. Meet my crazy mates from school.'

Because from time to time they'd turn up in conversation. I'm going to call them Gideon and Miles.

I didn't go to Bournemouth that summer- though we did go down from uni in the autumn and I met the Baker's grandad who had brought him up. And since Gideon was at uni in Portsmouth, it was easy for him to come over. So I met Gideon.

But not Miles.

Several times during our time at uni I went to stay with the Baker in Bournemouth during the holidays and sometimes Gideon was around.
But never Miles.

But the Baker always used to say 'You'd like Miles better than Gideon. I would say you two would get on really well. Of all my mates, Miles is the one right up your street. You two would just click.'

And he'd tell me stories of times they'd spent together and things they'd done. Things Miles had said. You start to feel you get a picture of Miles.

And the years rolled by.

At different times, we've been in different places and it just never happened that I ever met Miles. He often turned up in conversation, but he remained that, someone who turned up in conversation.

But of course, there were times when the Baker was down in London he'd met up with Miles. Miles never dropped out of his life. And although it wasn't something I'd ever thought about till we actually met, he would have got the whole 'You'll have to meet Crushed. You'd get on with Crushed. My best mate from uni.'

I know the Baker's brother well. I see him quite often, more often than my own brother in fact. I see David's Mum and Stepdad regularly, I almost feel an honorary part of their family sometimes.

But the Baker frequently says there are three people he sees as more brothers to him than his brother. Myself, the Chimney Sweep- and Miles.

So it was always wierd hearing him say this, but never having met Miles. It was like knowing your Dad had a whole other family of children somewhere that you'd never met.

Anyway. February 2007.
The Baker turned thirty.

Big party in Manchester. And as he said, EVERYONE was coming.

And finally 'Miles is coming. You'll get to meet Miles at last.'

Crushed: And you reckon I'll get on with him, yes?
Baker: Yes, he's way better than Gideon. You'll get on, you'll like him.

And I guess there feels a bit of pressure. It's kind of expected. You've never met the guy, but it's so much a part of what the Baker believes that two important people to him will like eachother.

Anyway.

People are coming in all the time. I rarely take stock of new arrivals at parties, I know they'll be brought over to be introduced, so I tend to just get busy socialising.

Baker: Crushed! Crushed! Miles, Crushed, Crushed, this is Miles.

It was one of those moments where you reach out one hand to grab theirs, whilst the other reaches round to give them a hug. Instinctively.



And I just looked at him. And him at me. He looked nothing like I imagined. Nothing at all.
But he certainly didn't seem a stranger.

Crushed: I have heard SO much about you, mate!
Miles: Same here, same here. The Baker's always going on about you. I've heard some stories, that's for sure.
Crushed: All good, I hope?
Miles: All good, mate, all good.
Crushed: It's weird, I know we've not met, but I feel like I KNOW you, you've been part of the Baker's life for as long as I've known him and I can't remember when I didn't, if that makes sense.
Miles: Yes, it does. I guess I can't remember the days when I wasn't hearing about how I must meet you one day.

And we got to talking in depth about how odd it was, knowing OF eachother, knowing so much about eachother for so long, yet not actually knowing eachother.

The Baker always says it was one of those nights I was on 'top form'.

I guess my bizarre sense of humour isn't something that translates at all to blogging. Quite often, you have to be there.

Anyway, at about 4AM I came to a conclusion. A conclusion based on the definite physical ressemblence of Miles to a well known celebrity...
Even down to the jacket he had on.

'You know, I've realised. Miles doesn't exist. The truth is, The Baker had an imaginary friend at school and he still believed in him at uni. Only once he'd grown out of it, he couldn't really admit that to the rest of us. This has posed a problem over the years.'
The Baker is looking kind of resigned now to the fact something surreal is on it's way. Everyone else is bemused. Especially Miles.

Crushed: I guess he really couldn't come up with an excuse why Miles wasn't going to be here. I guess he was panicking, realising he was just going to have to come out with it. That Miles really only ever was, a figment of his imagination.
As luck would have it though, only today, as he was coming up the stairs, he bumped into Michael J Fox. Turns out that Back to the Future, Part Four is set here in Manchester. A problem develops with the Delorien and Marty McFly has to get wrecked in a flat in Manchester.
Anyway, this turned out to be the solution to the problem. The Baker went 'Look, Michael, I've got this crisis. Can you pretend to be my friend for a night? You'll get free alcohol and other stuff all night. And get to meet some birds. How's about it, Michael?' And here we are now, Michael J Fox playing the role of Miles, the Baker's imaginary friend...'

As I say, these things are much funnier at 4AM in a party setting.

At the end of the party as Miles was leaving he shook hands.

Miles: Great to finally meet you, Crushed.
Crushed: Was I everything you expected?
Miles: (pause to consider) Better! Better!

It was the way he said it.



Four weeks later, I went to the christening of Miles' first child, along with the Baker.

And it didn't feel strange.

No, we'd only physically met the first time four weeks previously.

But we knew eachother, kind of. And now that simple crossing of that threshold, of adding knowing in the flesh to just knowing of, meant we were more than just casual acquaintances.

As the Baker and myself left the christening to make the long journey home Miles said to me 'Glad you could make it. It means a lot to me, it does.'

Human connections.
They're what life is all about.

Each one is important in it's own way.

We touch people in everything we do, and I don't think we always know how much we do. Or keep alive those connections as much as we should.
But they matter.

And really, not a lot else does.