Prayer

I don't believe that saying prayers changes what the universe decides.
I have come to believe such an attitude to have an element of arrogance about it, the idea that God is about to do something but will change her mind because you convince her that what you suggest is better.

Believing that also shows a lack of true belief on the part of the supplicant. It shows that the supplicant doesn't believe that what is going to happen is for the ultimate good, or even if it is, the supplicant would prefer that result to be altered in their own favour.

If you pray FOR something, it shows that either you don't really think you deserve it, or, you want God to give you something you do not deserve, or, that you think God might err in deciding who deserves what, until you direct his attention otherwise.

So prayer in the sense of asking for something, I don't really hold with. If there is a God, he knows already what you want and she's already made her mind up.

And the idea of prayer in the sense of talking to God, again, I'm not sure I buy that either. I don't think you need to. The idea of us all having to express our relationship with God, is not one I buy.

You see, this is where the traditionalist in me comes out. I actually think the rituals and the ceremonies really ARE the point. I think that what they represent perhaps doesn't matter. I don't think God is a person, I don't think it's or a she, that seems pretty daft. God isn't a person, isn't a being, it's the driving force of the universe. Good and Evil are real. Good is the drive towards harmony, evil is the flaws in the universe, its imperfections. God is Good, in the sense that he is every positive urge in us driving us to love eachother, to build, to construct, to LEARN, to progress. And Evil is the base reptile within us.

And all this stuff about bread turning into God, well.
Scientifically, I don't believe it. But do I believe it?
In a sense, yes. I believe it because eight hundred million of my co-religionists believe it be so. We affirm our belief that the universe leads forward in a positive direction, that the flaws wll not win, that our positive emotions outweigh our negative ones and that the guy whose image appears above the altar was about as good as it gets and if we're going to worship a human being and call him God, why not him? He was a good guy.
So yes, it's his body. His body because when I eat it, I think 'Here's to you Jesus! One day people will listen.'

To me, transubstantiation is one of those things that becomes real because enough people believe it. I believe that because so many people walk up that aisle expecting the power of the universe to be in that wafer, somehow, it is. It's not logical, I don't see how it can truly be the body of Christ, yet once I've taken Mass, it truly feels to me as I have truly eaten the flesh of Christ.

Anyway, I thought I'd point out that it occasionally happens that I actually do pray, believe it or not.
The Rosary. I do occasionally pray the Rosary.

And I thought it might be interesting for you to see how a fairly eclectic Catholic such as myself interprets it.



Our father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed by thy name.
They kingdom come, thy will by done,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.

I cannot believe this is pure chaos. None of how I interpret the universe leads me to see that as a tenable proposition. I believe Good will triumph, however that comes about.

Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us

I want to keep living. I want to enjoy life. But this is the bit where I understand that I have to live up to what I want. I'm standing here asking for a clean slate. But I realise the answer to that is in me. I have to GIVE a clean slate before I have the right to ASK for one.

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, amen.

I don't want to do things I might regret. So of all the things I could possibly ask for, what I'm really asking for is that I never have to be tested too hard. Don't give me too many opportunities to indulge sides of me I will give in to way too easily if the chance arose. It's easy being good when you're not tempted. I'm more weak than evil. But my weaknesses could become evil if too much temptation came their way.

Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

How great is to be Catholic. And not have to just worship men. I'm sorry, when I say this bit, I'm actually just glorifying womankind. If the Pope had any idea the sentiments that run through my head during this bit of the Rosary he would probably be horrified. But this is the bit where I contemplate the soft, tender, loving beauty that is woman. I feel a tremendous love when I say this bit, indeed an element of desire, not for any woman in particular, but for that transcendant woman, with the temperament of Mary, but the desires of Freya or Venus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now and in the hour of our death, amen.

I'm human. I'm flawed. I do bad things from time to time. But I really am trying to strive for Good. Help me.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.

You know, there's nothing particularly special about me. We're all in the same boat, all of us human beings. But there is such a thing as absolute truth. There is such a thing as ultimate reality. I want to see things from a wider perspective than just me, stuck in a narrow time and place. Let me see the bigger picture. Let me free my mind from the constraints of my fleshly form and see reality is it truly is.

That's what it all means to me, anyway.

So am I religious?
Am I Catholic?

I suppose that depends on your point of view.