Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
But is that true?
The lovestruck teenager disagrees.
But the lovestruck teenager is wrong.
The lovestruck teenager, like so many of us, fails to realise that the statement itself is fundamentally flawed.
You cannot love and lose.
It isn't possible.
You can lose love, you can warp love, you can lose the OBJECT of your love. But only you can stop loving. It is you that decides to lose.
Hate never wins. Sometimes, it thinks it does. When the Nazis marched into Paris in 1940, they thought they'd won.
But where is the Thousand Year Reich now?
But the people Hitler sought to annihilate remain.
There is a strength in Love, in real Love, that Hate can never have.
Because Love seeks to create, to unify, to build, to share.
Hate seeks to destroy, to divide, to tear down, to lay claim for itself.
But ultimately, it's goal is a barren wasteland where there is nothing left for it claim, nothing even to support it's own strength.
So what is Hate?
Here the theologically minded have the edge.
Hate is Love.
Hate is Love, warped and twisted.
Hate is a Love that cannot see beyond it's own dominating obsessions.
It is loving your own race so much you wish to destroy all others.
It is loving your God so much, you will decimate those who will not bow to him.
It is loving another human being so much that your desire for them takes precedence over wanting the best for them.
It is loving your own child so much, you will watch another die.
It is the primeval throwback of animal nature, it is Inner Reptile.
It is the animal within.
Love, that is our gift as Mammals, as Primates, as Human Beings.
It is what makes us the species we are.
Our strength, our intelligence, is in our collectivity, in our connectivity.
The reason why Jesus' teachings stand the test of time, is because the underlying point is true;
'You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.
"You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.'
What does all that mean?
Let people walk all over us?
Allow evil to win while good men do nothing?
No. No, it doesn't.
It didn't say 'Lie on the floor and be trampled on'. It just said 'Don't be like them. Don't fight hate with hate. Stand up, look them in the eye and say 'Hit me again. Go on. Give me all you've got. The more you hit me, the more I'll stand. It is YOU who will end up the weaker.'
It means that when your cause is just, you don't need to fight to prove it. You don't need to create a big scene. Because truth will still be truth, and right will still be right, no matter what the result of the battle. And the victory of the unjust, of the duplicitous, of the ignorant, even the victory of the evil, will not last forever.
Truth will always triumph in the end. It will triumph because 2+2 DOES equal 4.
Winston Smith was right about that.
Did violence bring down Apartheid?
Did sanctions bring down Apartheid?
No. Moral courage did.
Who remembers terrorists like Tilak, or collaborotars like Subhas Chandra Bose, in their efforts to overthrow British rule in India?
Do we remember Gandhi?
Because if your conscience is clear, you will win EVEN WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE THE STRUGGLE IS OVER.
If you maintain your dignity, hold your head up high and say 'I'm just not rising to your nastiness', then all that happens, is you are overpowered.
Your freedom is in yourself.
They can never take your dignity from you. Only you can give that up.
If you fight hate with hate, then it's a level playing field. It's the luck of the draw, it's who fights dirtiest, it's who played the most tactical game.
But if you have a clear conscience, and they have none, then nothing, nothing can bring about your defeat.
If you fight hate with love, then even as they step forward to claim the crown of victory, they will realise that it is an illusion they are grabbing onto.
Somehow, they missed the fact that you were wearing it all along.
Love is refusing to fight, because you will not harm even your enemy.
Love is refusing to have enemies.
Love is recognising that your enemies' hatred, is just a warped version of Love. They may seek to annihilate you, but you cannot let them be annihilated.
Not until you have done your utmost to rescue their Love.
I know that, because I lived inside a system of Hate for a long enough time to see into it. I saw into it, I lived in it, and I never gave into it. To fight it would have been futile. To embrace it, is the death of your humanity.
But you can walk the line and you can come through.
I'm living proof of that.
Because Hate will exhaust itself, whereas Love is like Atomic Power, it is self renewing.
Ultimately, our world is driven as much by Hate as Love. Sometimes we are blind to it, but maybe we should open our eyes more.
So much good is being cancelled out by so much bad.
And it really is so easy to stop.
The cycle of Hate, is not in the hands of the Haters.
It is in the hands of those who believe that Love will triumph.
All it takes is one little sentence, one sentence to those who have attacked us, oppressed us, hurt us, maligned us, sought to destroy our dignity, whatever they have done.
I forgive you.
I forgive you absolutely and unconditionally.
I do not ask you to say sorry- you are already forgiven.
Maybe we cannot free them from the cycle of Hate by so doing. But at least we free ourselves.
And you see, that's why Love never loses.
If you think you loved and lost, it was because you let go of Love and embraced a replica version, one laced with the ingredients of Hate.
And ultimately, Hate was what you ended up with.
Free yourself.
Feel the Love.
Today is as a good a day as any to make your own personal amnesty day.
Just say 'Everybody who I've ever had a grudge against, everyone who's ever hurt me, you're all forgiven, 100%.'
Say 'No room in my heart for Hate. It's too busy throbbing with Love'
Trust me, you'll be so much happier.
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6 comments:
The message of love conquering all comes from those who loved and conquered all.
Of those who loved and were conquered we know nothing - this is because history wasn't written by them and I'll wager there are more losers than winners if the truth be known.
Our civilised hearts are defended ultimately by men of war who are prepared to hate and kill on our behalf.
These last two posts go very well together, the only available redemption is love regardless of religeon, as for the bloggothingo, a balance between fun and respect seemed to be what you were saying which may be ingredients of love, as usual thought provoking, well written, and active, rage on,
It does make sense, life would be lot easier if we could give up the petty grudges and so called 'hates' of our life. But it is all so much easier said that done.
Especially when you come across individuals who actually have no redeeming qualities about their person, who have seemed to make it their own unique mission to make everyone else's life a difficult as possible.
I'm afraid that I am not very good at following this teaching at all times.
It's not that I hate, that is too strong a word, but I sure don't love a lot of people. And I don't let people get away with things if I can help it, although I am fair.
I'm afraid I have to agree with EK on this one. We just don't hear about the failures.
E-K- I don't agree. They might be able to physically conquer you, they can't conquer your principles. You surrender those of your own free will.
Love only loses when it stops truly being love.
Paul- True Love is of the platonic kind, methinks. It is based on a desire to unite and communicate inclusively. People often confuse it with the romantic kind, but is far far greater.
Oestrebunny- Yes. I can think of a few like that. I like to think that eventually they scream and rant enough to themselves they just melt, in the heat of their own spite.
But maybe that's wishful thinking.
jmb- I agree, it's easier said than done. Especially when you find yourself on the receiving end. I guess it can't be easy, or Christ wouldn't have to bribe people with Heaven and threaten them with Hell if they didn't.
But as a general principle, we can follow it where it is practical.
Continuing with bitterness is always destructive, so to stop it at the earliest opportunity always makes sense.
Ohhh...!! This may well be the best post of all, simple though it may be. I believe it, and agree thoroughly. Fight love with hate. I used to feel like that lovestruck teenager; and perhaps do still, sometimes. But in the end, whether or not we have the one we love, if we love them for their sake, in the sense of loving them for their advantage, rather than ours, we have, possibly, loved well. The only problem is that to do so, we have to give of ourselves; we hurt. Maybe that's why people don't want to love; it's self-defense. But yes, as you say, when we bless those who curse us, we hold on to our dignity. I really like the 'crown' analogy you used; it reminds me of C.S. Lewis' Narnia stories; that 2nd book in that series, 'The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe' pictures it just like that.... :-) Great post!
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