Monogamy and Male Pride

I believe in Free Love.
Or at least, I support open relationships.

Idiots who read this, without ever having bothered to read this blog closely- or its comments sections- assume I support this position because I'm a rampantly oversexed male who simply wants put his penis above genuine emotion.

Anyone who has read this blog long enough, knows otherwise.

So I'm going to start with what REGULAR readers already know.

I'm more than happy to live, for life, in a state of total exclusive commitment to a woman, who I have NOT imposed the same on, and who can sleep with exactly who she wants.

And no matter HOW many people she slept with, even if she was to carry their babies, I'd stick with her and NEVER look elsewhere. As long as she loved me, cared for me, protected me, held me as I went to sleep every night, and was fully committed to every value I want to spend my life fighting for.

Why I'd do that, is the subject of this post.

Monogamy, really, benefits males.
It doesn't benefit women.

Let me say that again.

Men lie. Men present Monogamy as good because it's NOT polygamy. It's men having just one woman, not ten.
But fact is, it's STILL a woman having to make do, with whatever sex she ends up with.

Still favours the male. He still gets his way. Because men and women have different needs.
Sex for a man, is about quantity. How often we get it.
Sex for a woman, is about quality. Very much more so.

A man has had thirty lovers. Hey, you stud!
Crap. I've had at least that- it doesn't make me a good lover.

A woman has had thirty lovers. Hey, you slut!

So much of this is tied into male dignity. 'I can satisfy my woman.'
Can you though? Can you only love her if you believe this to be true?

This is why this tieing of sex to love, doesn't work. Yes, at one time, it had to be like that. Now, it just doesn't work.

Time was when women just lay back and thought of England. They were expected to just have experience of one man, or they'd be ostracised- note this never applied to men.
So we men could 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' till our hearts content.

This suited men- fact is, it's much easier for a man to 'cum'. But even then, let's be straight, men fake too. I'll come to this.
No man likes to admit the fact that he can't make the woman he loves 'cum'.

Now let's be straight.
Sex is a pleasure.
And the pleasure is in the 'cumming'.

So, if you really love someone, you should NEVER want to put barriers in the way of their sexual fulfillment.

And that includes your own 'male dignity.'

I'll be straight- in terms of a mechanism for passing my genes on, I tick the boxes. I find it easy to 'mate', I know I'm pretty fertile.

I also know that out of an estimated 2,000 odd sexual experiences, only about four have resulted in an orgasm.
And before you ask- not that it matters- it's not to do with the equipment. If you must know, that happens to be what is characterised as optimum.

It's the fact that my physical constitution isn't up to extreme athletic acts. Don't forget, had I been born twenty years earlier than I was, I wouldn't have lived. It took them a week to get me to breathe. I weighed five pounds. I spent my early years catching up with everyone else in terms of growth.

Physically, I run out of 'stamina' pretty quick. I CAN'T sprint for two minutes. I did it last month to catch a train. Do you know what happened? I was running down a staircase and suddenly, my legs gave way, my vision disappeared and I just fell down the staircase. My breathing system really is poor- and smoking thirty a day doesn't help that, I know. But fact is, give me just an ordinary English summer, and I'm fainting like nobody's business.



I hit puberty very early in fact, at age twelve. But if you actually check my physique, I have the proportions of a twelve year old child. I really do not, and never will have the strength, or stamina, of a fully grown adult.

To put this in clear terms, I can't last that long. A woman with a healthy appetite will wear me out VERY quickly.
Yes, I FAKE orgasms on about one in five occasions.

Now, let's be clear. I'm not in the bottom section of performers by any means- I get away with such low levels of delivery- I DO get invited for repeat performances- but certainly not due to quality of service. There ARE a lot of nice girls out there- and when I say nice girls, I don't mean prim and proper, but will indulge in sex they don't much enjoy with a bloke they like as a person, in much the same way they'd give sweets to a crying child.
Because hey, I still NEED it. And not just that, I DO have a basic need for genuine intimacy.

Thank God there ARE women like that.

But it would be selfish of me not to expect that they shouldn't actually have sexual needs of their own.

But it still doesn't satisfy- of course it doesn't.
And what of the guys who AREN'T so realistic?

I have a work colleague who was seeing a STUNNING mixed race girl. STUNNING.
Couldn't get it to work.

Could get it work fine once she'd left his flat and he was on his own.

What of the girl- who I know who cried herself to sleep every night because after two years, he couldn't make love to her?
And part of those tears were to do with her covert sleeping with other people to get the sex he couldn't give her?

As soon as they split up, he got it up with her successor.

Pressure.

Men feel pressure to fulfill, because our dignity is so tied up in it.

We have set up a terrible pressure for ourselves. Now women have woken up to sexual fulfillment, we all feel we have to rise up to the mark.

But let's be honest, it causes more problems than it's worth.

That little squeeze she gives you afterwards where you KNOW she's thinking 'I can see you enjoyed it, shame it didn't rock my world.'

And doesn't that eat away?
Your male jealousy.
You KNOW she wants better. And you're frightened she'll go elsewhere.

So. Do you love her?
Then let her.
And when she comes home, put your arms round her and say thankyou to her for coming home.

She came home to YOU. THAT's what Love is. Not who you have sex with, who you come home to.



Sexual exclusivity, just doesn't make sense, not if you really mean love. Because we force choices on people they don't need to make. Be with me, support me, love me, hold me, shouldn't have to be, have my sex and mine alone.

I'm committed to overthrowing the link between a physically pleasurably activity and a genuine emotion.
And just to prove I mean that, I'm more than prepared to offer a woman sexual Fidelity from myself, whilst INSISTING, she doesn't promise the same to me.
Because if enough men do that, we really can undermine this horrid sexual possession notion and show that we men who propose it, do not do so for selfish reasons.

In the interests of increasing overall human happiness, increasing overall pleasure (for women) and reducing overall pain (excepting the initial twang of men surrendering a little dignity), I'm perfectly prepared to do this.

Because it's time we grew up about sex.