Monday, 22 December 2008

Thanks People

I'm tired and still worn out.

I realise I'm the emptiest I've ever felt.
Total hopelessness.

I really don't know what else to say.

In some ways the last two years have been the most beautiful of my life. In some ways, they have been two of the hardest.

I believe what I have done with my life over the last two years to have been the best use I could have made of it.
And I learned to feel something I didn't even understand. I really didn't know love felt like that.

Thankyou all for your comments on the last post, they meant a lot. They always do.

I am hoping this passes, well obviously I am. I want to believe,I do.

I've left you a post above which I wrote a few days back. It's a bit cheerier than I am right now.



I've got the hot water bottle and Cedric.

7 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

It seems you're feeling a bit better. More sleep couldn't hurt, though.

Charles Gramlich said...

hum, did that go through. Was saying it seems you're feeling a bit better. but more sleep is nice.

sparsely kate said...

Hunker down,hug your teddy and let your brain take a rest.

Thinking of you and hope you feel better soon. xx

8xyzzy8 said...

I come late to the scene, again.

So you have made it to 30, my friend? Good for you, and may you be laughing at 40.

I'm reminded of a comment made to me 20 years ago, by a man in his late 40's at the time: "if I'd've known that I'd live this long, I would have taken better care of myself." After he said that, we tipped a final glass together before his wife took him home, and I stayed behind to ponder that thought.

These decade boundaries are disconcerting, 'tis true. Sleep and then reinvent yourself.

It gets better.

vicariousrising said...

I used to really dislike Christmas. I'd swing between feeling completely disconnected and empty to wanting to take an uzi to all the shoppers at our over priced Luxury Goods mall (the guards there actually had automatic weapons, and the urge to grab one scared the shit out of me -- and I vehemently hate guns).

The last couple holidays have been not bad at all, and this year I feel a little chipper about the whole hoo ha.

Anything can happen. Maybe you're just going through growing pains. If you manage to figure out what's eating you and get to the other side, things will look up.

Yah, and get some more rest. Self care is good. Self pity is not.

eric1313 said...

I know the feeling, but don't give up hope.

As Percival said in the wonderfully inadequate movie Excalibur, "I can't give up hope, it's all I have left".

Princess Pointful said...

Hey, a little late, as covert blogging becomes a little difficult while home for the holidays and so forth. However, my ride has fallen through (blasted travel luck!), so I have two more days to kill, and finally some time to read. I just wanted to send a little extra holiday love your way. I hope this new year brings you the new beginnings you need.