In Which Ubermouth Tells The Truth- For The First Time

Today we have a guest post. A rather unusual guest post. A guest post which once and for all settles the issue of truth.

But first, an e-mail. From September 2007

Crushed By Ingsoc to ubermouth
show details 19/09/2007 Reply

Carly,
I really hope we can call an end to all this.
I hope this is all over and that we can both carry on with our lives.

This has got to be the single most horrible experience of my entire life.

Please, as a human being, leave me, the people who matter to me, and my blog alone.
This has gone too far.

Just forget about me. Please.
Forget you ever knew me.

I tried calling you earlier, but you did not answer.
I am changing my home phone number on the advice of David and Donna.

Goodbye Carly.

I think that says it all. There it is, in black and white. What it means, is simple. It did not matter WHAT had been before. Two of the closest people to me in real life had advised me to get Carly Swan out of our lives. And their opinion on that was not going to change. And they had made that decision on the basis of how VISIBLY stressed I was by the whole situation of having to talk to Carly Swan.

Now Carly can claim that we were still 'in a relationship' in some way, shape or form after that mail, but that is clearly not so. To go back on that e-mail would have required the consent of the people mentioned it, and since they discovered they were having a baby together two weeks after that mail and needed me to be stress free no such consent would ever be forthcoming.

Now it was in December- three months later that James Higham made his allegations against me accusing me- with Carly as his sole evidence of using my blog to found a sinister cult and abuse women.

Now there are two versions of what happened over the next three months. Carly's is that she 'discovered' the story she tells James. My version is that she carried out a concerted campaign of e-mail harassment and stalking the effct of which on me was, in psycholgical terms, tantamount to being raped. And which drove me to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

So- how do we EVER really learn the truth?

Well, finally we do.

Carly is going to tell it to you. In her own words.

For once in her life, Carly tells the truth.







That post was a dsigrace.I do not know where davaid OR YOU work nor am I interested. I will be exposing you for who you are now though for I am not haivng you do this to me. I have also been told that you fel in love with someone whilst you were faking your feelings for me wiht YOU calling me. Nice guy you are! YOU have even more psychiatric problmes then I thought. despite how much you have manipulated, lied to me , deceived me disrespected me.I said nothing but not anymore!
I will NOT Let you be the victim in this. YOU are pathetic .

Well, Joe,
You do deserve for me to write about your emotional abuse of me.and kid yourself not it was. The mere fact that you publicly declare that you have been faking everything when you have done nothing but try to convince me your feelings had not changed, prevented me walking away when I thought they had, is ABUSE of one's genuine emotions.
SAfter all your heavy love talk and plans that YOU initiated talk of, to say now that you never meant it and I took it too seriously is the SHITTIEST thing that anyone has ever done to me.How coudl you say "Oh, I am sorry that you took ALL MY TAL OF LOVEAND MARRIAGE seriously" Most people DO Joe- for no one would profess all what you did insincerely. I wudl ask you "You do know I love you, don't you?" When you were feeling vulnerable/confused. You would say"I hope so".
You knew that I did. You knew I woudlnever be able to bring myself to hurt you.
It was all just your paranoia.
You say my love is destructive AFTERthe post that you just wrote?
You declared to the world that I never meant much to you!
You wiped away every memory, every word every moment.
Thanks Joe- yes, you do your life work now spreading love in the world.
Carly

I think you may have not been told the right tone of the call. I was trying to get them to understand that you are vuilnerable to exploitation on the net and asked her to encourage you to seek counselling for I told her I could no longer have anything t do with you but iof you were as abusive as you have been to me to soemone else, then that could harm you.
I told her the real story of our relationship and how you have downplayed it................which was my right to do. I am not a dirty secret.
I also do not know wehere you or david work only that oyu make yourself vulnerable by blabbing too much about yourself and I gave her the example that I knew thier last names.
What part did you have a problem with and did she make it clear that I was trying to encourage soemone in your rl to help you, modify your risky behaviour on the net for I can't be there for you anymore.

Wow that was fast! I guess you really do believe in censorship.Luckily I copied and pasted it anticipating your move .

I justsaw your comment on phish's site bragging about your fuck buddy
nOW I TELL THE REAL STORY ON MY BLOG - HOW ADRE YOU DISRESPECT ME PUBLICLY LIKE THAT
COPY AND PASTES AND ALL
i AM EXPOSING YOU FOR THE USER OF WOMEN THAT YOU ARE.DO YOU WNAT TO SEE HOW PAINFUL COMPLETE DISREGARD IS FOR A PERSON

Oh Yeah and we must not leave out your hooker sex
which is mainlyn all you get
For soemone who does ot mind his private life being talked about you certainly have a problem when it comes to talking about me though
you are a player and a user of women

NOW I see why you were making out in posts that it had been me calling you, and that you had not wanted to be involved wiht me for so long. Well my new mission in life is to expose the emotional predator.

It is quite pathetic that you "hide" while in IMs. Areyou a lil gilr that thinks you can fuck ppl over and then them just walk away no har no foul?

LIsten,
I ONLY called you when you were being a rude pig! Other wise I Left it for you to call me so stop insinuating that I was calling YOU! When I wuld hang up on you , you also would keep calling me back. People do that when fighting!
In fact on Tuesday you told me you DIDNT want to stop talking.
Dead issue- you and I both know that you called me daily right up to 30 minutes before that post.
Of course you need counselling. Do you think I say that to insult you? Or because you are 29, have your whole life ahead of you, yet think death is chasing you ad that you have spent your youth and now it is YOUR job to save humnaity ( which you can't anyway) at the expense of your own happiness whn you ahve not had ENOUGH happiness?
You know the other issues you have.
The merefactI figured out that you were off kilter, yet didnt jump ship shluld have told yu I was NOT judging or condemning you.Why do you think I talked abut I wanted to always look after you? I was projecting to the future and what would become of you. Sound like someone who is out to fuck you over?

YOU are mad becuase you had trashed me to them and then it came out that you were inviting me up or do you now deny you were invited me up when she was away?
YOU used to say ( in that time frame you now make out you didnt want me calling you) that our feelings were too strong for a phone relationship...............not like how you are acting now, like your feelings were so little that you didnt even want to talk to me on the phone.

And I know you well enough to know that you will be calling me...........so who do you think you are fooling?
Well according to you , you were not having a relationship with me either so what does that mean?
And yes, when one htinks soemone they care about is in a bad situation thye do have a right to talk to soemone who may be of help.
isnt that what your dilemna was with Ken?
Sometimes for thier own good you have to risk them being mad for the sake of their well being.
And I am still awaiting the emotional promiscious explanation.

Look,I don't know what you game is.What situation? Us fighting over your contradictions? The phone and not rl element? The fact that according to you I took a friendship to be more?
You do have your whole life ahead of you!!! YOU ARE 29 A BABY still! It is not behind you- why would you think that?
The only way you are going t die early is through drugs.
You have serious issues.you don't trust anyone, you are a chronic liar, you egt consuded and lose touch wiht reality at times, you are afraid of love.........you ahve sexual issues and you create achaos in your life.

The worse harm you do yourself is that yu come on all strong giving women sales pitches abut your feelings which are not genuine ad then exepct them to evaporate without warning when you have omved on to soemone else Donna confirmed that you are indeed now spending time on phone with someone else, so why would you feel the need t maintain that you have feelings for me that have not changed from your I love you?

Uhm when people are having a relationship, especially a phone one they have to talk ya know.....and what does when people make you feel good you love them shit supposed to mean?Or I couldnt accept what?
You talk like meeting was the beginning.............that's not how it works. We chat a bit like friends and then one day we meet and do or don't start the relationship from there?

never meant to meet, I mean.
As you said in your post David sugested that you are indecisive in these matters.
Do you even get why I could knock your block off?
If you know that you enever want to settle down ever- you dont talk marriage all the time.
If you know your relationships have life span of a couple mths then you dont get all serious with someone projecting 40 yrs into the future.
If yu cannot commit the time to a relationship or exclusively you do not drag someone into one by pretending to be their soulmate and setting the tone for a serious, long term relationship .
You did all this and then stated, "I never meant for yu to take it seriously"..............get fuckingreal! yes you did or you would not have poured on all the lovetalk.........
And when I aked if your feelings had changed you ahd an obligation to admit it and make a dignified good bye.
I mightadd that YOU were the one who wanted to talk everyday when I suggested it wasn't a good idea.
Who can trust your word when every other one contradicts it?
Wh can trust you online when you deny you have feelings for me when asked , deny m,y existence ( or anyones) talk your shit and then talk differently on phone.
All I everasked of you was to be real and be honest and not fuck it up ( my trust in you) before we had a chanceto meet.
I wonder if we had met, made love, the whole bit- if you woul still have lied to Donna and made out we hadn't?
You told her we neverhad plans to meet that I was a liar to have said that you had invited me there. You wanted to continue our relationship and used the term I still wnat to keep talking but yo dint want Phishez to know....................why should thathave mattered?
Taht's when you killed my lasttrust in you.My call to Donna was essentially to say take care of him for whetehr you think so or not I tried to also be a friend/mentor to you and didnt want you to come to harm on the net, which you are taking far too seriously.
You treat your net friends better than the woman you claimed to love....and you wonder why it ended lke this?
You call me the most horrible experience of your life?
gee, thanks, for all the love I genuinely felt for you. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt that I had your best interests at heart with Donna.

Well, I bet you are an excellent salesman.
I clearly would buy anything from you.
Congratulations!
Still you said once we were meant to meet for a reason.....atleast I now know why I was meant to meet you.
And you can stop with the false sentiments. This is what pisses me off about you. Do I seem the type that needs false flattery or a man spewing insincere emotions all over me?
You told me once that you can turn your emotions off like a tap.
So why this 'it's heartbreaking' for you too crap?
Even after you wrote 3 horrid posts about me and one fake update( on what basis did you pressume incorrectly I was campaigning that night?) AND defended Phishez and apologised to her as if she was a victim, for you not supporting her enough, I have not written anything that you feared I would.
That is love and concern for someone!
I must be an asshole. I was very upset to see your numbers at 2 this afternoon for I knew how you would feel about that ( and it was a damn good post), I felt like commenting as flame haired cynic to give you an extra comment, as no one knows FHC is us.

The only reason I didn't was because I then thought you will twist it around ( like my very loving call to Donna) and make out I am obsessively stalking you.

Even after what you have done to me, both privately and publicly, I would die if you went to jail, got exploited online, OD'ed or lost the respect of your readership.
You know before I even knew you really- I felt sorry for you that your blog only got afew hits and I went faithfully everyday to give you a comment. I note that your precious 'sister' and Jenny! is not doing that! Why???? Where are they to prop up your blog in slow times?

Well, Joe, you said once that you will not be able to tell how much I meant to you until you fucked it up and I was gone..............maybe when you have been fucked over on the net, then you will realize we were just fighting... and I wasn't the evil satan you accused me of being.
To call me a psychopath and lie to Donna that you never intended to meet me...Man, I can't believe that. When I did feel that you were one( and I am still not convinced that you are not) I made/make no judgements on that.

You know I do not have issues except I was angry with you alot( you could drive a saint to drink) but I did tell you that it was the worst time in my life to have a relationship with all that I have going on in my overly stressed life, especially a net one.
You didn't mind revealing our relationship( at DTB) when it was to crucify me. And the real truth was that you were
a/ giving me a salesjob like you said ( I recall one night you said you want to hear the truth- that I never loved you?"OKay" you said, "I never loved you" then you recanted.- I never said t had to go to love. INfactit was one of my reasons why I didn't want to get involved . I said in 2 wks you wuld be telling me that you loved me- took you one hour from that time.
You talked of marriage and babied all the time and DIDask about me taking you to Canada( in factI thgought you were kidding, at first)
Then you say online that you didn't mean for me to take it seriously?
b/You knew I was NOT campaigning about you. That was all smear. KNowing your negative mind the response post I did ( did you check MY update on it?)you probably thought it wasn't heartfelt but a tactic.

I could never hurt you. Alot of times when I called yo when you were rude and hung up during fights( NOT because you wanted it to be over) was to try and soothe you when you were upset.
Psychopaths can't take alot of stress and the two emotions they have most is fear and anxiety. The ones that can feel genuine feelings think it is love because they normally don't feel much. Any genuine feelings they have are short lived.

I think you are a pscyhopath and possiblt a paranoid schizoprenic...but did I treat you differently? NO! It made me more protective of you.....................and worry for your vulnerabilities more. I don't think you are a sexual deviant as in pervert but mixed up.
I don't think that you are crazy but off kilter a bit.
I have never met someone as vulnerable as you.

I was thinkin g of you today remembering the time I sat in my garden talking to you over the phone and you had just come home from work.
I voiced concern that you would start thinking soon that you were crushed.
Quite agitated you screamed,"I AM Crushed!"
When I sad no you aren't, you asked "Who is Crushed then?"
I said," Saying you are Crushed is like me saying I am Ubermouth."
You were so confused /baffled you said "YOU ARE Ubermouth!"
I then reminded you thatthye were blog titles not people and that we were carly and Joe.
You told me that you get confused at times. I knew that you did.

YOU suffer from low esteem and don't think you are worth anything.
You think you have never achieved anything and that you are just a crim and a loser.
This is why I used to say I wish I was your mum. You THINIK you don't care about maternal love and that it did not affect you but you are the biggest little boy I ever met. YOU are fucking nasty with it though and you ARE manipulative and lie.and those are just bad habits which reduce your esteem even more.

I think you treated me like shit to be honest, especially after saying that you would never hurt me and I could trust you.
You said that you didnt want to end it on Tuesday! SO happy to show me your pic.. You were upset that I wanted Cathy and Phish to know we were togetehr for MY dignity.
So you did that cuz you probably have soemone else and humiliated them to make it look like we were over.
BP ppl thought I was a woman scorned cuz no one wuld believe that a guy could talk about awoman like that and still be in the relationship( or atleast pretending).
I don't think we should email anymore.

I really did care about you though and would have done anything for you.
All I EVER asked from you was to be honest and real. YOU were neither.

I thought your blog was the reason you have purpose.
What did I give you hope for?
NO, I shall never believe it now. Look what you wrote about me? And love does not die that quickly. So tell me when you knew it wouldn't work and why.

Still awaiting for the reassons................

Look at the contradictions.then you wonder why I had trust issues with your sincerity?

Carly,
You still don't understand.
If you had let us have a break, not called Donna, not publically admitted that we knew eachother personally on the bloggosphere, not wanted to speak every day for so long, things could have been OK.

Carly, this isn't easy for me either. I'm STILL trying to get you out of my system now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Carly,
I hadn't wanted to talk to you, because I had feelings for you, but knew they must be killed.
Tthat's hard Carly.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You may not know the person's isp as you neverknew mine no doubt but everyday the same isp comes in withing minutes ( I am talking 1-5 mins) as you. No coincidence. So, why the sales talk now Joe?

are you there?

I gave you a quick call last night when I saw that you came back online...otherwise I would not have called that late. I had expected you to answer on first ring due to the time, so not to disturb Donna.

DO you think you deserve better treatment than you have shown me?

I am having problmes on yahoo- unblock me here

YOU are a disgrace the way you have played me for so long! Did you write those untrue posts about me for her benefit? To make it look like we were split up thta long ago and that yo were not begging me to move in and marry you a week ago? Claiming that you loved me days ago?
NO, you ahve bene involved wiht her for awhile bt dont want me to know as you dont want her to know when we ended it TODAY!
And what do you mean I Knew you were attracted to ehr you were denying it this afternoon?
Dont you portray me as a woman scorned when I am concerned about ehr well being.
You leave me no choice t do what I have to do.how dare you make out I gte the dirt on ppl to use against them!Laying the victim again Joe as yu victimize women????????????????
YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN!

Drop dead you abuser! After allwhat you did to me I was protecting yur next "victim"!!!!! SO funny how you are on Cathy's side.does this show that you were lying to me qall this time while she caused me harm? You have beencalling me, you begged me to mogve in with you two wks ago! You wanted to keep your relationship OFF LINE now I see why.same shit you pull in RL with women get friends against her and sabotage her credibility while you areSTILL sayig that oyu love her...............YOU have no shame! YOU are evil...................DO NOT ever contact me agian and this I mean.
I will protect women online from predators like you!
And if anything I said was flase SUE ME.I see now yuor prison mentality_it has been me being abused and smeared by you for ages- yet then behind everyones backs calling me up professing undying and profound love. YOU and I KNow the truth YOU May fool others but what you have doneto me is a pattern.SCUMBAG ABUSER LIAR!
If you have no problem wiht emotions bieng on blogosphere why did yu hide our more meaningfuyl relationship ?
You wrote those posts a month ago and lied to distance yourself from me.
Now I suppose I gte to post about you and pics too eh?
YOU are despicable.

You killed me!

I am NOT Putting up wiht this!
YOU are themost horrible despicable psychopath I have ever met> NOW I teell my story! Now I hvae a cause- to expose you for w2ho you are swo you do NOT do this to ONEother woman.
And yes, I heard how you were also involved with Cathy but tried to suggest she was running around the net lying about that.
EVeryone is aliar but you!
Also heard how you wrote to ppl ( like JOsh) denying our relationship) do make sure to see your love letetrs IN PRINT you hurtful ungrateful bastard!
YOU are welcome for the love, forgiveness, friendshipa nd millions of second chances you asked for.
YOU are right- there IS a war going on .Yours!

Persecuting you?Stop playing the victim!

Funny , am I blocked from yahoo?
For you to admit the truth.
There is no nightmare Joe. I am hardly of a very high opinion of you, obviously.
I want you to admit what I have asked you to in last emails

That is an amazing evasion of what I asked you to admit.
I wont go into the ingratitude of helping you build oyu blog up or how you had some cheek keeping me on the string for 5 mths.
Just admit the points I asked of you. I am not interested in your life views or what means anything to you- people clearly don't. And I do not see how flirting with women here is apart of serious blogging that you would put above wife and kids.
Your excuses are that of a 5 year olds.
STill feigning that you are not involved with Bunny?

Joe,
Cut the crap.
Excuse you look at all the lies oyu have told about me? danage to my blog which is closed , if you recall?
EVery woman is too godd for you Joe.
And you are crazy if you think awoman wouold acept her and her kids coming secondary to a blog.

There is nothing to resolve. BUT I am posting about you. I am sick to death of posts like yurs of yesterday where you talk about serious dating as if I ahd never existed and it is done specifically to make it appear like you had not been talking very serioulsy unsolicited abut me.
I wil be posting WITH emails in next few days

UNLIKE you though I shall be sticking to the truth.OH I have heard all about you and LUcy too. NICe faithful guy!

That is NOT to hurt or scare or threaten you but I beloieve in preventing other women from being hurt by a guy who does it for the sole purpose of an ego trip and sense of power.
You are a dangerous man and public menace to women. How you have treated me is proof.

Why do you have a problem me posting about you btw? Why say you were so afraid of me doing that when you continuousy did it to me?
Why not want our relationship exposed when you didnt mind doing it

I saw a bit of evil in you and told you I had to risk my soul to save yours. I meant that and tried to get you to see you needed help, I thought love would prove you were nto alone in the world and had to act in the most degrading ways that you did.
YOu don't want help or love. YOU ENJOY hurting women.
YOU are as far removed from the person you pretended to be ,to me being the man in the moon.
You get into people's heads and then preject whatever image you think they want.NO wonder I flet you were a male reflection of me- you were mirroring me.

BTW Your actions determined the ending- not mine.You should be smart enough to know that.

BTW MY real objective was showing a guy whom I believed to be floundering and fucked up and low on esteem that he was lovable, that I would not give up on him lightly and hopefully get him off drugs , get counselling for what ails him and show him that someone would stand by him through some of his worst behaviour , which I took as being a self defense him- against -the- world mechanism.

That was what I was trying to do for you.
What did I get out of it?
Nothing.
Not much of an agenda , was it?

NO Joe, YOU suck! YOU have all ready admitted that you exploit womens feelings, that you still profess love when you are really the enemy.

You know I thought today of the nasty things you said about me yesterday.
I cannot beleve what a horid person you turned out to be. Its unreal all what you have done to me, liked to me strung me along etc etc and y76ou ahve the cheek to say I a the devil?
YOU have made your biggest enemy boyo

WHY do you assume I have an agenda?
You once said I could not love you so there must be an agenda.why did you say that?

Go on yahoo

Go on yahoo, Joe. First off, I hate Gordon Brown - you know that. I believe in communism for christ sakes! We have the same political leanings, recall? SO stop calling me fascist or an employee of the State.........

Are you getting me on yahoo?

Joe!
Go on yahoo! I am not an employee of the State and you now this.

I helped your blog recall?

Joe,
What are you saying? That I am a man? Yes women who feel hurt and heart broken dolash out! Loook at what you have done to me???
BTW You have heard my voice enough to know I am not a man.

You must know shit all about women!
BUT then again you are a 'hit and run' aren't you? So you have probably neverseen your handiwork, after the fact. Now why are you not responding on yahoo? Am I blocked?

DO you recall how upset you were after Joanna? That is How I feel!
I am NOT a spy. I am NOT nasty and you know that!

What is the difference between us taking ere or yahoo? Except the time delay?
Joe- you know it is just me.
Did you ever love 'Carly'?

You have to go to bed soon so pick up your messages on yahoo and come in there and talk to me.It's important.

Joe?
What do you mean I got into your head and you got me out?

You must not forget what was between us. ITWASREAL

Demented in what way? And can we talk in yahoo?
Phishez is a fucking nutter and even you know that! I expected you to stick up for me and show me some love more than just words.

BTW That nutter friend of your fought with ME recall?
JOe I am worried about you come into yahoo or I am going to call you.

I was CRusheds best friend. I went there everyday and still do, helped promote Crushed recall?

I am phoning oyu now unless you go to yahoo!

Bunny is NOT a friend to Crushed>

Why have you not changed your number but it just rings off the hook?

Joe have some manners and talk in yahoo! Trying to talk like this is crazy!

It is important that I talk to you so stop with this shite.

You know, I am just Carly Swan but it alarms me that you talk of me bieng a spy and your persecution complex kicking in , thinking I am an enemy of yours.
How could you forget all that was between us? OR now think that there was some agenda?
If you do not answer me , in yahoo,I am never going to speak with you again Joe.

Okay, is that what you want?Me walking out of your life forever?

I think it very typically selfish of you to make such wild statements and then not explain them and show such bad manners not to talk in real time.

I agree that the system needs to be destroyed. WE ALWAYS had the same political views.

I did a post , did you see it?

GO read my new post.

Oh just the games that you like....you know being the 'embittered, nasty, hurtful, rotten SATAN NAZI SPY CUNT WHORE who turns on ppl they purport to love.'
What do you expect though from someone with a personality that sucks?
You should know that game- YOU INVENTED that game.
YOU DID say ' Do your worst' though.
I am just bieng agreeable.
OH yeah, can I have your permission topublish one of our IMS?
I wouldnt want to do it behind your back.

Joe,
It's insulting that you would degrade what was between us wiht such shite as insiting that I am a spy. You forget one very vital thing! YOU are NOT important enough to be spied on. Your blog is not relevant enough for anyone to want to bring it down!
You have subjected me to horrors by how badly you have treated me.
I Have seen emails that you wrote saying the most horrid things about me dated same dates as you called me up nightly talking of your 'love' for me.
Then you have cheek to act like I am a nasty person?
You have cheek to say you want love so badly when you had it but tossed it away over shite?
it's degrading that you would act like I had any agenda in meeting you.
YOU persisted wiht me if you recall? How could I have had the agenda when you were the one coming to my blog? Flirting with me?
You forget how much I resisted a relationship...not much of an infiltrator huh?

I don't know if this talk of me being a spy is a manipulation or a hallucination on your part.
What was that last night about you saying that you will not fall for emotions again?
Did you love 'Carly' is that what you are saying?
You were not scammed.

YOU are a dick- you oculd have had both! AND someone who helped your fucking blog!
NO one was more proud of you and your blog! NO one boosted your writing confidence more thna me or advised you when you were losing perspective..............but oyu never appreciated it!
I find that offensive. BUT look what you did to my blog.
I got mails from your readers after what you posted about me.
BUT I never put you down!
You cannot claim the same!
I am fucking sorry YOURfriend atatcked ME if I recall! NOw go to your friend and ask her to help you wiht your blog. YOU are offensive that you always bring up my defending myself against your friend! How fucking dare you!
I do NOT sit and get shit on by your friends and take the rap! And you cost a reader _ the most imprtant one... ME
NO you have done far more harm to me but because you looked like a nasty piece of work who was milking it, it made you look bad!
For less, you wrote about me all the time.
YUO are the most insincere , lying disloyal person I have ever met.
WHere is your condemnation of what PHish did to me??????? She called me apsychopath and interfered in our relationship? Thats okay right?
well maybe I should call uy a psychopath and see if that is OKAY TOO>
OH then she stolemy blog and wrote lies about me, still has my urls and you did fuck all to egt them back.
NIce friends oyu have there asshole! BUT then agian you odnt deserve better friends.

Yeah but the one you claimed to love a HUMAN BEING could be shit on by your most ignborant friend and that was okaY? YOU owrry about losisng a reader but the woman oy claim to love can get treated like shit by your ppl and she had better not even complain?
HOw dare you! It was okay all what PHish did ot me?
NO YOU Lost me ! YOU odnt even realize what you lost but you may not get it again!



Fuck you!
YOUr commentes may be more important to you than a woman you claim you love but to me NO! YOU are a disgrace! What about human rights and ijustices you talk about?
SO you would have soemone upset me so greatly I closed and then had my blog hijacked but that is okay as long as I do nothing about it.
I dont recall you minding losing ME as a commenter.
With guys like you who needs fucking enemies?

I do NOT Have to leave ANY abuse of me Fuck you!!
YOU gave her carte blanche to treat me like shit a woman ( her) that you claimed that you were afraid of turning on you , if I recall?
MY feeleings for you began to die whe you did not defend me against your rude friend. I am nearly 20 yrs her senior how ignorant and ill mannered she would attack me on MY blog discusisng MY relationship cuz she is arrogant enough that she thought she knew you better than me and what was going on n our relationship
IT was rude, abusive and out of order. YOU then were aabusive to me for defending myself.
Now go ask Phish for her help

YOU are crazy!
YOU are too ungrateful to even realize what was in my heart for you, why I stood by soem pretty awful behaviour( you wouldnt treat your netfriends as appallingly as me) how much I boosted your confidence , your blog, nominated you for awards, begged my readers to back you, stayed glued to my pc for days multi voting for you, made sure to comment every fucking day! Advised you when you could not see certain posts made you look bad, begged james not to go to BP about you........telme what PHIsh did for your blog beside infrequently comment?

NO ONE can make you happy!Because really it is you who is embittered, nasty,hard, cruel, and turns on ppl they purport to love.
I fell for you because I thought you were no less than amazing-= a beautiful human being , full of compassion, love, loyalty, positivity, honesty.............but that was all a mask.
The real you called me the most GOd awful thngs, degraded and humiliated me overe the blogosphere, refused to acknowledge privately or otherwise my importance to you.......the man who you pretended to be would never do that to a woman.
YOu would upset me greatly and all ready sleep deprived I woudl beg lets talk 5 more mins and leave this on a positive note so I can sleep. YOU would slam down the phone.
When yu were upset even afterwriting all that degrading shit about me( but never aligned ytourself wiht me positively- even to give me warm comments ) I STILL talked to you for hrs in your lonliness/upset.
I bet yo have shown my ims /emails around YET I Never have yours.
I would not have let my famiy treat you the way any commenter of yours can me.
YOU wont find love Joe cuz you have none to give.

YOU ingrate- we were discussing your blog! YOU are lucky I was giving you a critique that you may have been able to use to increase your readership. BUT oyu are too ignorant and too ungrateful to 'get it'
You know what I Have the business mind- you are the writer.that's why you took off. and to prove my point I shall invest my business mind into marketing my own blog and we shall see whose goes through the roof.( and I am not even pretending to be as good a writer as you).but I KNOW my target audience- you don't. I Know how to edit- you don't.
And P. S You wasted 5 mths of evenings for me! And I odnt recall one of them , yu devoting your efforts to my blog.
I Hvae never met such a negative , ungrateful and rude person.
Tell you what.Don't email me. Simple.
Ciao!

Joe,
THis is the last time I shall write to you. I don't require a reply.
These pastseveral weeks I have swung between longing for what we had and really growing to find you an unsavory character; something I fought hard to never view you as.

Yo knolw when I amiled Phishez that time, we were nto getting along well, you left me hanging during some pretty shitty circumstances instead of trying to make me feel better about who you were. My feeling the need to warn a young girl about you but remaining loyal in that I did not disclose relevant information,was more your fault than mine.

I am astounded at how cold you are, how you only view everythin g between us as negative and that you show zero remorse for the cruel and inhumane way you treated me.
The way you blogged , and behind the scenes ,while quite two faced would be calling me every nigh whispering your words of love, while behind my back was making me out ot be soem fantasist is unreal.
Do you realize that you have protrayed me as some obsessive nutter ? You even used my age against me to make it look like you would not hvae been involved with someone my age.
Whe I think of the early days- how I told you I do not get emotionally involved for who needs to go through what I am now, when you ardently persued me, told me you would never let me down, talked of such serious plans(later admitting that you work on assumption that all relationships only last 2 mths- you had no right to do that!

You kpet me sweet wile you strategized the exit that left you unscathed and me looking so bad I closed my blog rather than take yo on- which I could have done ad cost you yours.
I Have compassion though- know that revenge is not sweet, and didnt want to cost you what you feel is all yo have in your life.

The way you announced your crush on both Bunny's bog ( wiht aI odnt care that she knows when we only ended it that day and you had denied it right up until then) and on your own was to hurt me.
I have never seen a man act in such a cut throat manner and then play victim to the hilt.
I am convinced now that you are a psychopath and I have no doubt, I am not wrong.
I warned Bunny , even though I had to break my agreement to you, because I could not bear to see another woman go through the emotional upheaval you put me through.

It's clear though that you have all ready grown bored of her.

You will never know what I felt for you, what sacrifices I was prepared to make for you, how loyal I actually was to you and how sincere I genuinely was.
Likely you don't care.as long as you have some voice on the other end of the phone.

I have been emailed a greatdeal and was overwhelmed at the response I got regarding my leaving and appreciation for my blog and encouragement to stay.
I toyed wiht the idea of coming back but have decided to let the Ubermouth character die.
You killed it though, as you sit there and think somehow the fall out for your own shoddy treatment of a woman online publicly and repeatedly is MY fault.
I genuinely wish that I had never met you. You brought me nothing but unhappiness.
I predict you will lose your blog in a matter of months because your real you is starting to leak through your blog and it's not a person that appears to be very respectful.
I was going to give you some more advice in regrouping, gaining focus but you were so rude and ungrateful I will leave you to your own devices.
You know, you neverbatted an eye whe people like Phishez was so horrid to me with your approval............There were a million times I should hve called it a day but I got so caught up in wanting to show you that you were loved, that you culd trust that I had faith you could get beyond your immediate selfish, naricisstic needs that I didnt look after myself.

I couldnt believe when Donna and I were on the phone and you outright lied and made out you had NEVER invited me there, never intended to meet me and that I was some net psycho. YOU have no idea how that felt , the humiliation hearing yo yelling that and then only coming to the phone to scream at me that you " never wanted to hear from me again", infront of your room mate, when two days earlier you had begged me to marry you.
A part of me died that day.

You have turned out to be the most traumatic experience of my life, especially because you had floated in on the wings of an angel...or so I thought.
I am not a nasty embittered , hateful person. I did not turn on you- I didnt even defend myself and always forgave you the posts.
You have never seen true heart break because you are a hit and run kinda guy , not interested in the damage you leave in your wake.

I tried to save you fro yourself and was knifed for my efforts.
I wish you well in life , all the same though.
Please let those be our final words and do not respond.
Your lack of care in your response would only be demeaning.
Delilah

You are a fucking dick.

Get on yahoo or be sorry

FUCK YOU PRICK!
You said talk of emotions did not belong in blogosphere and that was your excuse for all your degrading behaviur about me. Then you deny that we even had a reelationship and acted like I was some obsessed womn chasing you( or you you DENY you wrote leters like that to ppl) and then you blithey when you knew how much was betwene us brag about women you have met and like?
SORRY YOU BLEW IT_ NOT GOING QUIETLY NOW

The whole thing was awful because of your behaviour! as it is wiht all your relationships

Have cheek to deny our relationship for 5 long months while talking so passionately about me and then talk of other women as if to gain cred to further make it look like I was some saddo stalker/ obsessed woman?Now I understand why phish said if the relationship was as I said .when she atatcked me on my blog in Aug- oyu made out to her I was soem friend who got obsessed wiht you , didn't you?
Or do you deny that?
Now it is WAR

How dare you when you knew me to be very honest, very togetherr, had no agenda, loving soul, genuine feelings for you portray me as you did.

I am sick to death about he4aring about your blog. I loved and had a relationshsip wiht you not ablog. I iddnt defend mnytself because of your blog.
BUT when I see the shit you are pulling now then that is ENOUGH!

Call me right now.

And I mean it! I am not having this conversation in mails.

I LOVED your fucking blog so dont hand me that! NO one helped you more than I did.

phone me right now

It is in YOUR interests to do so.

Dont hand me that shit and call me

THis is the last time we speak. and what do you mean dangerous? Thin you are going to fall madly in love wiht me at the sound of my voice? Oh come on!

GROW fucking UP!

It would be a HUGE mistake to pull this hiding behind david. david told yu to write that post about me yet you called me everyday while Donna was gone and invited me up there recall?

darling you lost someone who should have had more value to you than david
DO you NOT get the concept of what love means? Or that I would have dodne anything for you? MORE than David would.
IT was me YOU SHOULD HAVE WORRIED ABOUT LOSING

Just call me

of course I did! and you as well! and you are wrong _ I understand you BETTER than David

You talk ad nauseum about me NOT getting you when I DID all along. I just didnt agree wiht the self destructive ideas that you have.
IT was YOU who never got it or ME!

You think you can blow someone off in 5 minutes?

Now I have a a mission too- exposing the REAL YOU- you abuser!
Not even had adate wiht the woman and she gets mentiuoned on your blog? Yet for 5 mths you talked your love BS to me and behind the scenes denied we wqere haivng arelationship?

YOU are horrible piece of work and I should have reacted quicker but I will expose you for who you are and NO that is not black mail.

NO, you were not interested in,listening to what ahrm you have caused me so you can read it onn my site.

You purport to pretend Crush has feelings for women here so they will fall for you and then become devoted acolytes.
You think I am going to let that happen?
You should be sectioned.
You make out that you love the world when you have shown me nothing but hate.
You love the world but claim each individual doesn't matter.so why should you?
Your blog rep is so important but not mine?
Only a 5 year old boy lies about women in the malicious way you did me.
You have cheek to declare feelings for other wone and then call me everynight talking love?
You are scum! YOU have no love OR humanity in you.
All you are going to do is hurt more women here.

All I see is your constant drip of I, I, I!
Crushed is NOT a person and HEY!It's not like I would LIE about you!
If you have treated me so fairly and NOT lied behind my back then there is no problem with me telling our "Love story"
Joe,
I am very hurt by how you have treated me and ruined things. This in turn lead you to believe that I did not really care about you as deeply as I did. YOU were wrong . I did.
I still care about you and that is why I don't hastily post on you- because I could not hurt you as you have done me.
I shall not post.
I do not want you to be afraid of that.
NO, I wanted to tell it because you have destroyed my reputation here by telling wicked lies about me...because YOU didn't have faith.
I had faith in you, Joe Joe and you broke it.

I have always worried that you would take this blog of yours too seriously and you are falling deeper and deeper into your unrealistic obsessions.

You say that love is hard to find no, infatuation . Love is another matter entirely- and THAT was what I did feel for you. But also, very protective of you.and scared of you at times.

You can drive a woman to such emotional pain/upset/anger and bitterness and then sit in judgment ( not looking at your actions) thinking that she is bitter/nasty/rotten and YOU are the victim.
YOU had no riht to declare feelings for Lucy or any other girl and then still retain the right to take up my time and emotions.
You had no right to fake feelings that had died when I gave you easy outs whilst you figured you how to get me off the blogosphere.
Everyone can handle things NOT working out, that's a fact of life.
There was no needs for the lies and subterfuge though which deeply hurt me.

I always said that if things got too hard, before we could meet and be together , to let me know BUT not ruin my trust in you over another girl, so that we could never be together.

You didn't have to write those awful posts about me nor chase me from the blogosphere ruining my reputation here.
Accusing me of what you did is as bad as calling a man a pedophile.

I don't know what is going to come of you as you are so self destructive ( but heard everyone that comes near you) but I hope that you will have a happy life.

It upsets me so much when I think how we used to talk about how people wouldnt understand how much was between us....and now look at what you have done?

I was not bitter, angry, nasty or any of those things - I was very uspet at what you were doing all the time.

I wish you well with your life and your blog though , Joe.
You should all ready know that.
Good bye
Carly xo

UBERMOUTH has left a new comment on your post "Sick of The Game":

Right I am absolutley fed UP with this rwe writing of hitory. The lies the betrayals crUSHED BY INGSOC AND WHAT HE DOES TO WOMEN ARE ABUT TO BE EXPOSED.DON"T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE AND YOU MAKE OUT YOU ARE UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR LIFE STYLE CHOICES? i HAVE EMAILS TO THE CONTRARY.oh AND 2 TIMING ME WITH THE GIORL WHO WAS OUT TO SABOTAGE US.

PERSECUTION?lISTEN FUCK FACE! YOU WILL WHEN I GET AN APOLOGY. AND YOU ARE THE REALA YOU IONLINE SONCE WHEN ARE YOU NON MONOGAMOUS? ALL ALONG OYU TOLD ME DIFFERENTLY, SO WHY ARE YOU PULLING THIS.MAYBE TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE PROPOSALS LOOK LIKE ME LYING , AS YO CLAIMED?
NO NOT EVIL- THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FUCK WITH WOMEN

I JUST MAY POLEAXE YOU LIKE YOU DID ME!
AND i LOVED YOUR BULLSHIT OVER AT ANGELAS

lmao DO YOU THINK i DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE AND ENSURE TO STICK TO FACTS, DOCUMENTARY PROOF AND WHERE INDICATED MY EXPRESSED SUBJECTIVE OPNION BASED ON KNOWING YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE?
You ARE EVIL AND HOW YOU TREATED ME. I hate you now and I am not gpoin g to be a silent victim anymore.

YOU better call your lawyer- I now have all the prooof I need and its all going on line. And I have copy of your posts as I said!
Nothing is sincere about you!Why so worried if I am only telling the truth?

fREE LEGAL ADVICE FROM UBER
SLANDER LIABLE LAWS 101 FOR THE RETARDED

You can only sue if it is uttered or written publicly that could cause , and harm has to be proved, losss of respect of community , job etc, or celebrity future earnings jeopradised.
ASI have only called oyu a noncer to your faced NONCER you cannot prove any of those points. Its not in the telling it;s in the harm caused to your charcetr
you alal ready know you are a BRITAINS BIGGEST FUCKING NONCE>

YOU OD not EVEN LOVE YOUR OWN MOTHER, RECALL ( WHO SHOULD BE SHOT AND PISSED ON FOR HER LACK OF REGARD FOR THE COMMUNITY AT LARGE ,WHEN SHE VOMITED YOU UP) DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT LOVE....YOU DONT KNOW THE ME4ANING OF THE WORD.
BUT IF YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT GUY AND NON ABUSER TO WOMEN YOU MAY CALL IN ALL YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS TO REFUTE THAT!

THEN WE WILL GET DAVID AND DONNA ON THE STAND AND LET THEM SEE WHAT ALIAR YOU ARE TOO.
I DID LOVE WHO YOU FAKED BEING- IF YOU HAD EVER HAVE LOVED ME YOU WOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN SUCH SMUT ABOUT ME, BROKE MY HEART WIT CRUELTY NOT CUZ IT WAS OVER, AND LIED TO ME, ON PHONE TO CATHY ETC ETC ETC.
I WILL ONLY TELL THE TRUTH! MNORE THAN i EVER GOT AOUT OF YOU

OH YOUR BLOG IS GOING TO BECOMEPUBLIC- A PUBLIC WARNING TO WOMEN!

bTRW YOU LIE ALL THE TIE ON YOUR BLOG - FIRST OFF YOU ARE INSOC!
SECOND OF ALL- YOU AMKEW OUT YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR? NEVERSAW IT YOU ARE AS STODGY AS A 90 YR OLD!

you know why i hate you!

no you are not the carefree, humourous gy you play, nor the ethical honest one either.
Did you not tell me that your post on non monogamy were not your personal views or how you exxpected to lead your life?
Be brave enough to answe that!

Darling - iT was yuo who proved your lack of worth NOT me!
I want a man who would rather FUCK than blog. Who is honest, knows how to treat a woman. a man not a sniffling, sneaky , lying boy. WHta makes you think you meaured up? Lying and talking to Cathy , all your flirting - how dare you act as if I did anything wrong expecting you to act in a truthfulo and respectful manner? And you didsnt mind calling me 5 times daily whenn it suited!I didnt run around saying YOU were obsessive!

SO exactly what do you mean by how I behaved? OBjcted to your less than sincere , respectful treatment of me?
And what are oyu saying that you have never bene involved wiht Bunny?
Curious to see if you deny that!

I realised long ago, I hadnt got what you wanted, and you couldnt make me happy.

OH when did you realize this? And you have your fucking cheek! Suggesting that I oculd nt have made you happy??? HOw dare you imply that I was not good enough for you!
Who would NOT fight wiht a guy who is professing feelings for tohers, befriending her enemy secretly and running her down and then on same nights calling nad profewssing great love and soul mate shit( dont you hate that word?)
How many times did I tell you STOP saying that yu loved me when I no longer believed it? Hardly obsessed! Then you had cheek to get mad that I didnt believe you! Then you finally convince me wiht your speech end of Sept only t be told later you were lying!
and you think I am the hurtful hater?

NO< I shall contact you until I feel better and you will just have to suck it up as you created hits problem! THIs is NOT how you treat women. and I am still waiting for numbers of how many women you professed feelings for.come on Mr Truthfl!
And justify publicly stating yo had crush on bunny bwhe crushed is suposed to loook unintersted in that.you r excuse yuo fucking player for 5 mths!

do NOT make the mistake of not answering questions I Have a right to know.

You do NOT gte to flick women off like this after hurting them so much, playing the victim and then not make enemies.
I am going to ring you be it on your head if you dont answer.last chance!

BIg MIstake Joe HUGE Now I Play like you do. I am going to employ the same tacatics you did behind my back........and then lambastse you online.
I shall send you my nerw url where I challenge every lie that you come out with and the real life style that you claim that you are so open about!
Then I am goig to calll your priest, your family EVERYONE!
How dare yuo treat women like this.
Its not about it being over- it' about you lying in hte most horrenbdous manner to everyone about me when I was very good to you. Then I become the devil because you dont like it that I am mad??????????????
How dare you! I am your biggest enemey now. CRushed is going to be exposed you NONCER!

YOU are menta! Shuld be comitted!
I have gathered alot of info about you- all inb written form
Yeah I WILL BE WRITING THE LONGEST POST IN BLOG HISTORY BUT BUCK UP NARCISISSTIC FUCKER - YOU GET TO BE THE STAR!
THAK GOD YOU WROTE YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE A COMMENT THEN SEX.
FAG

Call me right now,m you have no idea what state oy put ME in tonight!

I have to talk to you immediately.

If you ever genuinely loved me you have to call me.

I am NOT a liar or manipulator. yes, I did lie about police report cuz I had to know if it was just pills. NOw I believe that to be true. WE have to talk Joe.

Joe- please call me. NO I didnt try to fuck wiht your head. WE will have a cigarette togetehr and then you will understand. I really am NOT a manipulator or a liar.

You know I am a quick talker, quick thinker, my mind goes 100 miles aminute so although I react quickly I dont always react well if upset. Taht is the truth and no guy has ever upset me like you- cuz I never felt about anyone as I did you. You lead me to believe the same so naturally I am very upset.

You do not understand heart break or women's emotions because you fuck off when your behaviour makes them angry........this is not evil Joe. This is heartbreak.There is a huge difference. CALL ME NOW I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

Too busy chatting to soemone to bother to answer?
Right! NIce comment at bunnys too
Go read my reply

YOU are a lair and manipulator!!!! HOw dare you fuck me about as you do watse 5 mths of my time and then not even call me Who do you think you are?
Right. You are certainly not blogging at this time. Sonew net lover Joe/
Is that why you are afraid of my postin g ab t us?
mailscoming up

So honesty check who are you iming? You prick its all about you isnt it?
You havent had a letter in years?
Not whaqt I recall
You cocksuckler

What I have put YOU through? Gte fucki ng rela
Cathy has your mobile BUT NOT me! Whilst w you continued to call em every nigth number hidden> You beggedn me to amrry you and then lied to peopl like I was a nuter! You stompd all over my soul
I am no longer mailing you
fuck you
you eitehr cvall me or take your chances when you leave a woman feleing as you doi

FUCK YOU YOU CUNT! YOUTHINK I AM NOT WORTH A RESPONSE? thIS IS HOW YOU RILE ME UP! HOW DARE YOU YOU DEGRADE WOMEN AND HTIS WAS WHY THGNGS WORKED OUT AS THEY DID
YOU CAN WRITE LIES BUT ME SAYING THE TRUTH IS EVIL
YUO CAN FLIRT WIHT WHO YOU LIKE AND I HAVE THE ISSUE !
A WOMEN WHO YOU HATE HAS YOUR MOBILE
CALL ME NOW OR I NEVER EMAIL YOU AGAIN- YOU WILL NEVER EHAR FORM ME AGAIN.

HOW FUCKING DARE OYU TREAT ME LIKE THIS! YOU CUNT YOU ARE FUCKED!

YOU ARE AN EMOTIUONAL REDATOR
AND MANIPULATOR
AND ABUSER OF WOMEN
I AM TELLING IT ALL

NOt doping the email thing anymore> YOU call me or not. I will deal approriately
You tr4at me like a stalker
LIke someone who was never anything to you lie you had NOT fucked me oevr for 5 mths

I WILL PRINT YOUR FUCKI NG ADDRESS
ITS LEGAL HERE JOE

YOU ARE SO PATHETIC.....................REALLY AND NOW I TELL THE WORLD HOW MANIPULOATIVE YOU ARE
SO WAS BUNNY IN ON THAT?

HAVE TO GO BLOG COMMENTING NOW FIRST TO BUNNY'S.

I will be calling granny tomorrow you can be sure

and what do you possibly think you would see me in jail for?

I shouled actually thank you- tonight I fell out of love wiht you> I am NOW FREE FRee of ever getting sucked into having tender feeleings for you

Wat 54 minutes so that you can come to my blog and see your pics.

I do expect a response as I am NOT letting this last post go.
So salesman answer my last mails and tell me how you propose to make me a satisfied customer?

There is an old adage that you can't love anyone until you love yourself and you can't heal anyone until you are healed.
You are not healed yet. Maybe helping others will heal you- you are like me that way.
Do you recognize that you punish yourself by shooting yourself in the foot all the time when you subconsciously feel you need to be punished?

IF I wanted your blog gone it would be so!
And why suddenly sticking up for Cathy? YOU HATE her remeber and think her a scumbag and manipulative decietful cow recall?

One does not make a conscious decision to love. I did leave your blog alone. I am leaving it alone now.

Come into yahoo RIGHT NOW
NO fuckin g about
NO one knows yo or cares about you more here and I Have to talk to you
IMMEDIATELY

Are you online now?

YOU had commitment and help and support from me for your blog and you bloody well know it! You did not have carte blanch to be overtly sexual in my face with women while lying about our relationship- not and keep calling ME every night, but you wanted both.

Joe I have developed feelings for someone who is everything you only pretended to be. I am no longer romantically interested in you but I am still pissed at how appallingly you treated me , worry about the emotional safety of women here AND for some UNGODLY reason still worry about you as well.NOW it is like a mother but a pissed off one...I think.But if you walked in the door right now, I would do you( but I am horny, like that)( then kill you) so that is very confusing.

Even though I think you treat women like shit- you really touched me on a deep and profound level ( or I would not be so mad at your crap and insincerity).
You don't drag a woman into your life to the extent you did me and then toss her off ( withouth even tossing her off) without

OKay that last email was a draft that was sent by accident.SHow anyone and you die.:)
I meant to have asked, are you online now?


I have to talk to you so come into a chat proggy

And what is the difference between talking in yahoo or here?
And what are you afraid of?
You know I care about you

I NEVERsaid I would threaten to post your past just that you emotionally abuse women!
Look, you are purposely trying to fuck your life up! I am trying to save it- like we always talked about!
DO NOT condemn me because I flet s used and lead on and degraded by you.
PPL like Cathy when they think you a pratt just walk away, but I do care about you.
And you know it.
Cuz you DO need looking after - when you get confused and feel stressed and fight blind.

NO, because I Hvae to look out for you.

HOw do you save someone who is hell bent on destroying themselves and do not see how vulnerable they are here?
When do oy give up on someone who keeps kicking you in the teeth, becuase they know no better than take the hand that is trying to help them?

Come in to yahoo this delay is ridiculous!

O but you kept her in our life when I said she would destroy us!

You could at least have the couth to answer me.

NO if you had showed I had any value to you , you would not have talked badly agianst me allowing Phish to think she could attack me wiht full sanctions. You all ready wanted it to be over by then I suspect and used Phish as your online "David" and Cathy was recruited too.
I am not a stupid woman, I Have an analytical mind. YOU were bored when you met me and thought you would have a romance but as you said you worko assumption allrelationships last but 2 mths and figure out the end from the beginning. How dumb doyou think I am, that I don't recognize Phish was a set up and handy excuse? Then things fucked up because I was angry - do not play the victim well, and thenh you began keeping me sweet wilst you decimated me to silence my vice and make it ook like we were not involved?
THAT is what happened.once you found your calling- you had no interest in romance- so you wanted to throw me off like a used condom but kept up the love talk whilst you figured out how to do it, without an regards for how /what I was going through!
That is what makes oyu a emotional abuser. YOU kpe tme by your side while I was a threat ( in your eyes) until you could remove the threat by ridiculing me.
Admit it! YOU did NOT suppress your feelings,they died a quick death cuz they were not very string form day one.
ADMIT THIS is really what happened


Joe,
First off I would not want a man who would sanction a woman friend attacking a soul mate of his and considering his blog. The only reason it would have jeopardised your blog nipping it in the bud, was because you were doing about turn to her.
AS shew said ifr the relationship was 'as I said' meaning you were telling her it was not a relationship- then you would have asked her to stop interfering. HER own words.YOU didnt because it suited you.
TO say you fell out of love with me because I defended myself as if I did not have a right- is crap! From day 1 you lied to me when you committed to a non monogamous relationship and said we had to seize the opportunity because neither of us went beyond like.
That in itself is enough for me. I do not think you were ever sincere so yes! That makes you a predator and exploiter and abuser of womens feelings.

I was slagging you off at a time when your behaviior was so odd that I fel a vulnerable girl talking about such abuse needed to guard herself. NOT telling her WHY I warned her was protecting you too!
ALSO< she then began abusing me in MAILS BEFOREand that was WHY I posted about her.
ANd listen dumb fucker yo said far worse abot me to cathy ofr no reason if you recall BEFOREthat so get off your hgh horse!
I can;t stanbd your hypocricy!
GO READ CATHS MAILS YOU WROTE!!!!!THEN HAD CHEEK TO CALL ME EVERY NIGHT WITH YOUR I LOVE YOUS!!!
GO READ POSTS YU DID ONLINE ABOUT ME AS OPOSED TO ME WRITING NOT MENTIONEING HER
YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE YOU ARE THE MOST ABSIVE LITTLE MAN I HAVE VERE MET !!STILL FRIENDS WITH PHISHEZ? STILL VALUE HER WHILE YO TREAT BME LIKE SHIT?

sHE ATTACKED ME IN MAILS CALLING ME A PSYCHOPATH AND TALKE DOF PERSONALITY CHANGED ) IRONICALLY YOU STARED MUMBLING HTOSE WORDS RECENTLY SO i KNOW WHERE PHISH GOT THEM FROM) THEN SHE CAME ON MY BLOG AND ATATCKED MERIGHT i AM GOING BLOGGING! FUCK YOU! AQND GOING BACD TO KLIT TOO FUK YOU I WILL SHOW YOU SAME LOYALTY FUCK YOU BOTH
CRFUSHED AND PHISH EXPOSED AND i MEAN IT
NOW DROP FUCKING DEAD

LISTEN,
Thedn you wonder whwy yo winbd me up.YOU were asleep and then at work I KNOW beter than yo what PHIsh did to me. When I told you she called me aposychopath yo said so what/ You probably deserved it.
When you called me froim work and I said she is attacking me on my blog yu apologised and said you would sort her out when you got home.
YUO did not show me one ounze of loaylty- told e loyalty was an emotional and redundant reaction.
DO o think you have treated me very welol?
YOU befriended cathy dished the dirt about me and called me talking of love!
ARE you a very nice guy?
wuyld you lie Phish to have aman like you?
Me- I defend ppl Imlove against attack. I lost an 8 yr friendship when she was prepared to ruin things for us. YOU had only knwn phish a few mths!
YOU claimed ot wnat to spend your life wiht me and politley you oculd not say be nice to her she is important ot me?Had she not attacked me then I owuld not have needed to post wouold I>
BUT if this is the sht you spew then NOWI Know what y were saying behind my bac to vp- that I atatcked her?????????? you fucking cunt
I am NOW yo biggest enemy

You know what< FUCK YO , FUCK PHISHEZ, I AM NOW SORTING OUT THE LIES ON MY BLOG ABOUT YOU BOTH.
YOU NEVER CARED ABOUTR ME OR SHOWED ME ANY LOYALTY
PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO HATE YOU
GOTTA GO TO KLITS NOW

WAS TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT IF YOU VALUE A PHISHS MORE AND WILL LIE FOR HER THEN i DONT WNAT OT KNOW OY DAMIEN!
noW I SEE WHAT OYU SAID AY bp!
i SHALL BE LETTING BP KNOW THE REAL STORY NOW AND i HAVE HER MAILS STILL
I SHALL BE SHOWING YOURS
I SHALL NOW TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK LIKE YOU DID ME
YOU FUCKING WELL TOLD BPI ATTCKED HER
THAT WAS WHAT I AM SORRY I DID NOT TELL PHISHESZ STOPRY
YOU KNEW SHE ATADCKED ME AND YOUR EXCUSE WAS SHE CONTROLELD HALF YOUR BLOG ROLL WAS RILED UP BY CATHYA ND YOU WERE AFARID OF THEM BOTH AND THAT YOU WANTED E TO PROTECT YOU FROM THEM, AS PHISH WAS FUCKED IN THE HEAD AND YOU DID NOT KNOW WHY SHE ACTED LIKE THAT..........NOW I SEE WHAT TRANSPIRED,YOU BACKED HE UP BEHIND MY BACK SO IW OUDL NOT SEE AND REFUTE WHAT YOU WERE SAYING!
RIGFHT PHISH AND JOE BEING EXPOSED.
NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN.
I SHALL STICK TO THE TRUTH THOUGH.

so A READER WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU?anyone COULD ATTACK AND HURT ME ? AND THEY WERE THE ONES YOU WOULD DEFEND?
GO READ YOUR POST WHERE YOU MAKE OUT I WAS YOUR MOTHER AND YOU DIDNT LOVE ME THAT WAY9 WHICH WAS SHITE) YOU BASTARD, AND THEN SKIP TO PART WHERE YOU TALK OF HOW I GAVE YOU UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
P. S I AM INVOLVED WITH A B.Per I HAVE THEIR EAR AND WILL NOW EXONERATE MYSELF

P, S YOU MANAGED TO STAY FRIENDS WITH CATHY AND HELEN AND PHISHS ALTHOUGH THEY FOUGHT WIHT ME! i SOLICITED NONE OF THAT BULLSHIT ! WHY DIDNT I FIGHT WIHT JENNY OR EVE? cuZ THEY ARE DECENT PPL WHO DID NOT DO THAT TO ME...........HELEN , CATHY AND PHISH ARE NOT WORTH ONE PENCE.

I could not ignore a gilr who said to you in her rush to judgement " she is out to get you with a vengeance" when I was not! she assumed that cuz you were all ready putting me down.
YOU were hurting me when the first night oyu lied and said you never fall in love, that you asked for me to take you to Canada, marry you we were soul mates, meant to be in first2 mths, only to tell me later it was not real then and that you always assume all relationships last 2 mths.
so do not tell me i hurt you first.you hurt me when the first moth y made out to Cathy i was jealous of her skin tone, after she sent fingers to sear your blog, then asked her for sexual fantasies while hiding the fact that you were in contact and running me down to a gril who out of her jealousy turned on me!
you purposely lied to bp and made out I attacked her ad degraded me!
why would i be jealous of an 18-20 stone woman who cant get men whne I am an 10.5 stone woman ; a red head with huge, blue eyes, freckles that can pretty much get ANY man I want?
This is the worst relationship I ever had because you are a sneak and an operator and aback stabber.
the BPer now involved with ( not james) will sort you out when i now tell him what really happened! you had cheek that night after wr4iting secret lying letters ton call me when you were upset and I sat up on phone with you all night while you cried and laughably told me you never believed you could love someone so intensely? AFter writing that I Had attacked Phishez and gave her immunity for how she treated me? SO you both just lied!
Then you called me crying! NOw I see why yo did posts on SEpt whe I said I was going to tell them we are back togetehr.
YOU HORRID LITTLE PERSON!
And you think oyu are qualified to do anything ofr humanity?

I never fake orgasms , love, anger- nothing! And YOU of all people should know that!
I do NOT lie either and do not like a turd like you, implying I do.you on the other hand wouldnt know a truism if it bit you on the nose.
When you asked if I had left the comment you c&ped the other night I said NO! I didn't recognize it as mine ( it looked too well typed and grammatically correct) although, as I pointed out , factually so.

When I went to the site I was not sure even then til I clicked link myself. Once I did I fessed up...as I do NOT lie. How many times did you ask me questions which I could have lied and I never did?

GIven all the help I did for your blog and encouraged you to find your writers voice and talked your blog shit for mths cuz I knew you had no one else to- to palm me off as someone who hates your blog ( which is not true) is so rude and vile. AND a kick in the teeth. Yet you never said once I was you calliope, or what alovely girl this is- I got no kudos, no awards ( not that I needed them) not even warm comments like the others.......BUT I was splashed all over your blog in HATRED! Think about it.then you would sit there and CALL Me a hater> Go look at Freya for how you were mentioned on my blog - or the night after we talked?

You featured on my blog in love an virtual cuddles- I only got the public raping and knifing!

I wanted to take you travelling ,see the world help you with your book , help you find your cause and look after you ,yes( but not as a mum)- You say 'remember;- I do, and we know what conversation, but you don' t.NOT mother and you knew it.

I fought wiht you because I dont LIKE disharmony in life and I wanted your conduct which was causing it to end- I walk away from toxic ppl like Cathy cuz I dont like fighting or enemies..........more important things to do in life- laugh, have sex, enjoy life, stimulating conversation.THOSE are the important things.

You NEVER got that- I am the optimist out of us two, NOT you.

Joe I do not and would NEVER deny that I yelled at you and called you every name under the sun. I admit my mistakes too, for I AM honest BRUTALLY SO, I am accused of. BUT you drove me to those levels of despair because you would not yield on the tiniest thing so we could have harmony. What did being friendly wiht Cathy really gain you , except bullshit and another enemy? SHe did and proved every point I warned of, with gusto.

THis is how I saw you ( and this should make you perk up- all about you).
Within about2 days I knew you were a narcisisst and baby like, clingy and needy.
I didn't care- thought it was cute... to a point.

I realized that you were STARVED for love and affection and someone seeing the good in you.and I DID and gave you all that. I got very little back Joe but I understood you were spiritually and emotionally depleted. I used to get so fed up with you telling me that I did not get you........I DID , YOU dont get YOU and you certainly dont get me half the time. YOU cant gauge people or situations if you have to rely on emotion instead of logic. I got that too and oy used to rely on me to see what you couldnt, if you recall?

YOU are negative, killed my humour, you rarely laughed , you are older than me in a stodgy way, You have low esteem............and I understood and bled when I saw that! Cuz I understood.IT wasnt just jail- but being the lil kid in a family who thinks they dont love or want him.Cycles of women hating and angry, buit yo never looking at your behaviour to see where you went wrong so you play the victim! dangerous game, for you.

I knew that you were a broken man but at a stage where you were still like a teenager in some ways, emotionally, but I knew that you had a big chunk of vital years taken from you and I knew you would catch up.

I am NOT jealous or possessive or controlling...............that was your rush to judgement.
I NEEDED you to show I could trust you to not to lie to me, break my heart, be a player..........cuz I was investing a lot in you. I wanted to help you reach your potential and kill that evil bit in you that was struggling for dominance which would ruin your life.

I was very loyal to you ( even with Phish which I Have explained) You saw the beautiful letter I wrote her to assure her that I did love you and even respected her friendship with you saying that I could understand she took it the wrong way.she didnt show me ANY respect or OUR relationship etc........... you were touched.

I never asked you who you mailed or what about ,did I?I never resented you being in IMs but one does have to put some time in relationships- not every day.

I liked jenny and EVe and ALexys I did like Phish ( more pity actually, I saw win her what you did) I immediately forgave Helen and then apologised after she did which was right for her to do, does that sound like a hater or jealous woman? NO!

YOU iddnt take the time to get to know me and when that became clear then I started to give up on you.
You stressed me out but as I said to Jenny once- when she asked why I put up with it ( ppl saw how badly you treated me online Joe BEFORE the posts) I said- I am trading in my short term happiness for HIS long term happiness and when he is happy I will be and we then will be happy together.

You never got any of this , did you?

When you read the letter I just wrote you, you should be ashamed to even speak to me like this.
Don't you ever sent me a letter like the last again. The odd comment upset you? I have left 4 comments ( incl Ruthie's) GO look at your posts the emails you wrote about me and you tell me psychopath who you think it evil.
NOw, clear off wide boy. Hater.

Don't contact me anymore- I find you repulsive esp if that is your only non human response to my tome.
Now clear off.




Emotionally Murdered anyone lately, Manson?

The Person I Am

I am the person who-

1/Is the first to console a friend, watch their kids, look after them when ill, lend them money , buy them groceries when they fall on hard times- without expecting repayment.

2/ Is the one who , when at work with psychiatics, and they have no one to take them away for the holidays- invites them to my house for Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas meal.

3/.The one who, when she worked with the terminally ill, stayed over time with NO PAY to be there when they died, with someone to wipe their brow and hold their hand and then go to the funeral and pay my respects for another human who mattered on my days OFF.

4/. I was the one who bought all her ill patients Christmas presents (as I made my living off of them and wanted to give something back) and for many that was the only present they got that year (having no one) while the other girls I worked with talked abut what THEY might get form their patients instead, and grumbled if they got nothing.

5/. I am the woman who has never cheated on a man as I would not abuse their trust in me, or make them feel so insignificant.

6/. I am the one who has been there for her mother my whole life ( while you claim yours is just some woman who gave birth to you whom you hardly know)

7/. I am the one who can meet a fucked up guy like you, show I have faith in his goodness, forgive him some cruel and horrid behaviour over and over again because I genuinely cared very much about him- even AFTER he did all what he did! Despite the pain and humiliation and distress he caused me , would put that aside and try to understand that I had to give him lots of leeway as he had been through a lot and had many vulnerabilities.But I Had been through a lot on life and didn't need to be lied to, talked of badly against and you secretly using a BITCH like Cathy to use against me, like a weapon.

Where is Cathy now Joe? I heard form her mouth some pretty nasty things about you and that she does not even answer your mails. Her goals have been met! YOU are no use ot her now- much like she is not of any use to you.

You said to Babrie you did not know who was manipulating you and you didnt trust either of us. I told you Cathy would do that to you!Run me down so much that yo were not sure who to believe. BUT did you EVER stop and think-it was Carly who actually loved you?Sat up in the middle of the night and talked to you when you were upset?Offered to help you wrote your book, take you to Paris, and Canada ( fly your friends over when you were lonely?) tried to keep your rounded when you lost focus?Tried to help you over come trust issues?
Did Cathy ever show you the mails where I wrote her telling her to leave you alone, that she was hurting YOU more than ME? ThatI cared about you deeply and was trying to help you overcome some trust problems?
She didnt give a fuck about you cuz if she had- she would not have tried to turn you off of me, you who was a lonely , insecure guy who was just reaching out for a bit of love.

If you were badly off, would Cathy even open her door for you?
I would- even now!

I have seen what you would and DID do to me.

My heart used to swell with love for you, and I was very protective of you,you were very well loved ( and not as a mother) but you knew no better than to piss it away and to cause such situations that one could not help but argue with you.

I never broke my promises- I never posted about your prison or name- I was not running around blogosphere decimating you ( you just assumed I was doing what you were).

Yet half your I love you's were lies and came 5 minutes after writing nasty mails/posts about me!


You will NEVER find love cuz you have NONE to give.

YOU are the born salesman who thinks everything/everyone especially a woman who loves you is there to exploit.

Carly



And then to sit here night after night, while trying to get answers ( my right) being called a spy, devil, Satan , liar etc.all those things I am not.

YET, while trying your damndest to convince me we were meant to be forever- you all ready were thinking of it as a usual 2 mth thing and utilizing Cathy's hate behind my back to your advantage.Also telling people that I was some obsessed nutter than you were NOT even having a relationship with?
Then you wonder why I was so mad...............or demanded to know answers so I could get the closure I needed in how someone who I thought was an angel ( my punishment for being good all my life with little reward) could be the worst and most painful exp I ever had?

I used to say you didn't have to lay it on thick( you love talk).So why did you?
Why fake love? WE could have just chatted as friends. CUz you , for your own ego, have to win people over and dont care what salesjob you sell!
Imagine If I wrote EVEN ONE post about you like you did me! let alone all what you did.
But you are the victim!

Think of me at X Mas, as I shall be thinking of you, whilst yo sit alone instead of us being in Paris.










Finally she got the message.

Note, no mention of a Charles Manson type cult.
Just the truth.

In her own words.

It was Hell. And no human being should ever have to endure what I had to endure- as shown, in this post, IN CARLY'S OWN WORDS.

It was stalking. It was harassment.

It was wrong.

And to defend it is indefensible.