Friday 9 January 2009

Caroline Flint- Proof Men Have Two Brains And Only Enough Blood to Run One at a Time

It is an amazing fact that every time I watch Caroline Flint on TV, I find myself wrestling with the fact that I clearly have two brains.

One brain invariably tells me 'Christ, this women is a Fascist. Not only that, she talks complete drivel. She simply mouths New Labour platitudes without any real thought.'

The other brain invariably tells me 'Mmmm. Caroline Flint. God, that woman is gorgeous.'

And after about two minutes I realise I've given up on what she's saying, because it's drivel. It doesn't matter. But the voice she's saying it in, is pure treacle. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's her secret. She can say anything, it doesn't matter. She could say 'We are announcing plans to build three new Concentration camps in Norfolk' and you'd still be going 'Mmmm. Caroline Flint...'

The fact is, the woman is in practice one of the worst examples of a totalitarian apparatchik that exists. But it's also true if I lived in Don Valley, I'd feel guilty about NOT voting for her. Not sure I'd be able to go into a polling both and put a tick by any other candidate. Because just LOOK at her!

And bearing this in mind, I'm wondering how men ever managed to be the dominant sex at all. Or if we ever really were. Because we're clearly idiots.

Because I can watch a video like this, hearing a diatribe of totalitarian drivel and still think 'God she has a sexy voice! And that thing she does with her shoulders when she talks! Cute.'

Two brains and only enough blood to run one at a time...


Anonymous said...

LOL. This post made me laugh because it is saturated in truth! Keep in mind...the same goes for us of the fairer sex. I can't think of an example right now, but when I do I'll let ya know.

Anonymous said...

Too funny. I've got to say, I was worried that Sarah Palin had the same thing working for her with the stuffy Republicans over here. If I never hear the term MILF again, I will not be sorry. Or TMSS (for "thinking man's sex symbol"), which from what you describe sound like an impossible oxymoron.

I swear, I try to understand the two brains thing, but it really just makes me happy I have just the one to worry over.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had two brains I love sex. But once in a while, I get distracted during sex because I'm stressed about all the crap I have to get done that day. I envy men in that respect. I wish I could flip a switch to 'Feel Only'...that would be great. :)

Anonymous said...

"Hovercraft" Flint {so called because she is such a low flier she's barely airborne}is strangely attractive, but in a stripper/hooker kind of way.
Its very disturbing.

Anonymous said...

Actually she is quite good looking in the PR photo above but looking at the video, not so much.

Now as to what she is saying in the video, eminently sensible from my non/anti smoking point of view.

Anonymous said...

It might help if you stand on your head to look at her. Er..maybe not.

Anonymous said...

You know the saying about where men keep their brains... :)

I must admit I don't have the unfortunate skill to blank over no matter how good looking a guy is. If he's talking drivel, he actually becomes more and more unattractive as time goes by.

Anonymous said...

Reeny- I'm not sure the fairer sex are quite as capable of replicating the effects of a praefrontal lobotomy as us males.
Though possibly, I guess.

VR- I think she did, actually. She seems to have a little fan club of people who think she was hounded by the Media unfairly. I'm sorry, but a women who believes in Intelligent Design is too nuts to be allowed near nukes.

I've learned from experience, when a woman is attractive, I lose the ability to think rationally.

Sweet Cheeks- Do you know, interesting you should say that. You'd be amazed the things I think of during sex. I can actually watch Tv and take it in- especially if its football scores or something.

Bill- I must admit to being drawn to that sort of attractiveness. I suppose I'm not really in to supposedly 'classy woman'. Believe it or not, what got me onto this topic partly was a girl I'm kind of smitten with who bears a slight ressemblance to Ms Flint, only with more Mascara and a couple of tatoos. It occurred to me that she reminded me a bit of the lovely Ms Flint.

It's what I describe as trhe girl nextdoor look, but maybe that tells you what sort of nextdoors I'm used to :)

jmb- There was some lovely footage of her at the Labour conference, but I felt it would be boring to post it.

I like the way she moves her head. she has the sort of body language and facial expressions that work on me, I guess. She has a slight lisp as well, which is cute.

The smoking ban is Fascist, in my opinion. Especially this time of year. Having to walk outside pub to smoke! How is that good for ouyr health?

I've been mugged- It always amazes me how generally one doesn't get many attractive women in politics. I have no idea why that is.

But Caroline Flint, she is a great exception.

Sue- I find that a woman's physical appearance really can affect the quality of their words. Indeed, I find if a woman REALLY has it, it's amazing just what you'll agree with, if you can see the possibility of going to bed looming into view.

Anonymous said...

Lameness often comes in pretty packages.

Anonymous said...

I don't like her voice.

Yes. Beautiful people can get away with being mediocre and often do.

I'd rather be beautiful than rich.

Anonymous said...

I don't much like her voice either Crushie..
My voice is treacle..
Actually my voice is like a drag queen when I first wake up in the morning..

If you like drag queens..


Anonymous said...

Charles- Seemingly so, yes.
There is no denying she comes across as lame.

E-K- You don't like her voice??
Don't you find it marvellously simpering and- oooh, that hint of a lisp...

I think I'd rather be rich. But maybe that's just a case og the grass looking grener...;)

Kimba- You a smoker too are you? Funnily enough, it hasn't affected my voice. My voice is still said to be one of my better features.

Someone once described it as Jude Law meets Jaspar Carrot..

Drag Queens are great company. Amusing, great sense of humour.
Not keen on actually sleeping with them though.

Of course, I'm guessing sleping with you, wouldn't be likie sleeping with a drag queen. I'm guessing the similarity stops at the voice bit.

Anonymous said...


no not a smoker.. :)

Just naturally husky..
I can't think what it is like to sleep with a drag queen or I would have some witty come-back.. but.. nope.. nothing is coming.. x