Saturday 9 August 2008

Doing Deals With Succubi

Oh the things that happen...

2.30 AM. Friday.

CRUSHED: You might as well take your knickers off as well.

RANDOM: Only if you take your crucifix off.

This should have been the sign that Crushed was about to enter one of those wormholes which result in a couple of days of bizarre hedonistic craziness that most people would regard as extreme living.

My boss, the gecko of balding fame thought at an earlier part of the random bacchanalian festivities unleashed, that there's only so far I can keep pushing the need to sometimes just say 'Fuck it. Can't be arsed. I'm going to party for a few days. So if you want me to bother coming to work, be warned, I'm twatted and I haven't slept and as far as I'm concerned I'm only really coming in so we can organise a storming evening out on the town tonight and get some good coke.'

The gecko thinks 'It's so not the way forward, ******ger, you can't keep doing this. You might not mind being the main topic of company gossip, but things like this are completely unacceptable. And I'm not going to do anything, because right now I'm just so angry, because it's not like it was accidental. You texted me at half three this morning. It made no sense- which is why I realise you'd just been paid and you were off it, one way or another- 'If I'm late tomorrow, it's for reasons of urges'.

In my defence, I point out that these little binges on every pleasure humankind knows the existence of are quite rare, in fact only happen every few months or so, as opposed to every week, as they did in my youth.

I'm getting quite middle aged now.

But if something starts a party off, why stop until you have to?

I just felt like having a private party, to which anyone who was around, was invited to.

I do this from time to time.

No particular reason needed. Just I need to do it. Party.

But I've actually got better at saying no. I was remarkably thirty year old a few months back, when for the first time in my life, I turned DOWN going to a rave. A rave where from my point of view, everything would have been free. All I had to do was wing Monday.

Anyway. Just got back. And I've found my crucifix on the floor. Which is good. And something bizarre.

I didn't think women wore petticoats any more. But I just found one on the floor. Black.



Anonymous said...

"if something starts a party off, why stop until you have to?

Yep, I'm with you there...

(really hope none of you guys out there have a heart condition...)

Anonymous said...

Well I'm glad you had a hoot of a time!

I also think, more frequently than I should, "AH FUCK IT" and blow all my money on wasteful things and let the kids run feral and don't do the dishes for days and you know, lounge around and drink wine and play loud music. We all have to release. My circumstances mean that I can't party like you, but in my own way it's the same. It's blowing commitments and responsibility off to a point.

I didn't know girls still wore petticoats either. Kind of cool!

Anonymous said...

Crushed, you're such a slut! From one to another, its great blogfodder isn't it?

Enjoy it, but stay safe.

Anonymous said...

"You might as well take your knickers off as well"

This is an excellent conversation starter, I can only imagine the depths you probed with that one! Very good, my friend, very good!

Anonymous said...

ooo... intriguing end :-)

Anonymous said...

Selena- No, but I suspect a heart attack has to be high up on my list of possible demises...

Kate- These things often seem better ideas at the time than they in fact turn out to be in retrospect. But still, you can't be sensible all the time.
I think in many ways, I had a lot of built up tension I needed releasing.

Nor did I! Not seen one in years!

Phish- I suppose I am a bit of a slut, in some ways. It's a word people have often used to describe me. I'm a lot better than I was, and in some ways, I'd like not to be at all, but occasionally these relapses happen..

Helen- No, it wasn't the conversation starter- that would have been slightly earlier, and it was 'If you want to talk about it, I'm happy to listen', or some such. I wasn't planning to bring her back, things just followed that trajectory.

It wasn't really about sex, to be honest. Sometimes you just don't want to sleep alone.

Eve- Well, I don't remember that much, I was pretty hammered and I didn'y go into work till lunchtime, pretty much. And what I do remember was pretty ninth gate type stuff. Or maybe I dreamed it. God knows.