The Next Decade- Downhill All The Way

I guess this post will contain information newer to some of you than others.

Regular readers will spotted that fear of my looming thirties looms large in my life.
It's getting nearer now than I'm comfortable with.

Where did all the good times go?
I was never meant to GET to my thirties, surely?

I guess during the life history of this blog, a dim realisation has started to grow, a nagging feeling has come to the forefront of my head that I really should DO something.
I guess this blog has been part of that.

It has been part of driving me to the crossroads, really.
And now I'm standing at them.

I've never really been one for decisions. I leave them to make themselves, really.
Anything for an easy life.
And I've got it pretty easy.
But now perhaps, I can't put them off much longer.

On the work front, I'm lucky. I have a job I enjoy. But it has recently been made clear to me that, with the company planning to expand, I have two choices.

1. Continue as now, making the sales and earning a decent bonus, but being shoddy with the paperwork due to lack of sleep and/or hangovers and other ill effects of too much partying, wasting time in the office playing stupid jokes on people and flirting with the female staff, always earning enough to get by because chatting to people is an easy way to earn a living.
2. Take the job seriously, double my earnings and get to stick the word Director in my job title at some point in the future.
   

That really is the choice.



The other factors are personal. Again, close readers of the blog may have noticed that during the life of this blog, my flatmate and my best friend the Baker, became an item. It's an unusual situation, currently weekends work out like this, on a four week cycle.
He comes down here one weekend, and we all spend it together.
I go up to Manchester and myself and him go out there.
She goes up to Manchester, I go out either with others, or stay at home.
Myself and my flatmate spend the weekend together.

Well (as a few of you know), a couple of weeks ago my flatmate brought me the news. She came wondering in (as I was blogging in fact) and announced.

'Er Crushed- I've got something to tell you.'
Well, to be honest I HAD kind of guessed.
'You're going to be Uncle Crushed.'

I have to say, I was overjoyed. As happy as she was, actually. We're all going to be a little family.
It means a lot of changes of course- the Baker is going to have to come back down to the Midlands. Fortunately, my line of work does touch on his sector, so I can keep my ear to the ground.
Ultimately of course, they'll need to get a place together. They are going to have a child after all, and I'm sincerely flattered that BOTH of them consider me part of its family. In fact everybody does. I guess people know how close I am to both parties.
Everyone is asking me how it feels to be an uncle.

But of course, this does put a cloud on my horizon.
The Chimney Sweep and I were travelling up to Manchester on Friday to go to a birthday party when, in his wittering way, he raised the issue;

'What are YOU going to do now? I mean, with both me AND (Baker) tied down now, how do you see your future.'

I agreed I was concerned. Not really about my social life, I accepted that the all lads together every other weekend idea was on its last legs really, but that the Baker and my flatmate would live nearby anyway, due to her mother, so I fully expected to see both of them most weekends.

What I am really worried about, is what to do with the spare room in seven months.

I don't like living alone and the extra £250 a month doesn't even go halfway to paying the bills, but it makes a difference. Makes my life easier. And I will really miss her. I feel about her as if she is a sister.
I'd never just get some stranger in. In point of fact I'd not live with another male, I just don't fancy the idea.

The money in fact isn't really a problem. With the Baker settling down, the two of us have both agreed that is high time both of us kicked our more expensive hobbies.
That easily saves £250 a month- more in fact.

The real problem is coming home to an empty flat, night after night.
The obvious answer is the one everyone else has already come up with. But you can't do that JUST to find someone to live with.

I guess the real point, is that I see the road as being two choices.
Now really is the time for me to decide what I want from life, I've put it off too long.
Am I going to go with my heart, or my head?

Do I sell my soul to the devil?

Do I kiss goodbye to youthful dreams, my yearnings, my restless desires- and focus every last scrap of my energy on my sales career?
Or should I follow that nagging voice which tells me to throw that all in and do something...better.

Which way happiness? Which way contentment?