Tuesday 30 September 2008

Psychenotity- The Most Perfect Human Experience

There are some who think the sexual revolution has gone too far.
That we have cheapened sex.

I don't agree. I don't think we have gone far enough.

I firmly believe that once we've finally kissed goodbye to monogamy and this lingering idea that sex and love are of necessity linked, then we can actually strive beyond these narrow concepts to truly transcendent human experiences.

In short, I don't believe any human being should feel that making a commitment to sexual chastity should be a necessary condition of proving one's love.

In a sense, I believe it actually denigrates the higher emotions by tieing them in this way to what is primarily a bodily function.

And I suppose this is what the enemies of the sexual revolution fear, that sex will be reduced merely to a clinical bodily function, having no real meaning, that it will no longer be special.

I'm not sure that's so. I actually think that in the days when sex and love were confined to a one and one woman mating in exclusivity for life scenario, there was little freedom to explore and find deeper meaning than a few minutes marital thrusting in a squeaky bed in a dark room between people who often felt little for eachother after teenage lust had subsided a few weeks after the honeymoon.

I can kind of envision, within a world where chastity has been consigned to wastebin of history along with female circumcision, a more inclusive attitude to sex, where sex itself is no longer the ultimate act, but more a generalised term for a number of acts, all of varying gradations of significance.

Let's conceptualise how sex might be seen in a free love world...

Sex itself would be a simple bodily function. No one would feel any qualms having it with anyone else. Gone are the days when it is frowned on for a woman to be sexually promiscuous. Sex itself really is just a bodily function, people do it because it feels good. And the term to describe it's ultimate satisfaction is that clinical term; orgasm.

Let it be an act that people do simply out of lust. No shame in it. And nor is anything seen as wrong with it. Whereas now, people may be with someone but occasionally wonder what it's like to have sex with someone else, in the free love world, they do. And no one castigates them for it.
After all, it's just sex. And not necessarily anything more.

Why NOT?

And there would be a number of different types of sex, most of them simply for the sake of it. And that would be considered perfectly normal, all those meaningless types of sex would be OK.

And precisely BECAUSE all those meaningless types were OK and everyone did have them with pretty much anyone they found reasonably attractive, we'd ACTUALLY have more respect for the higher versions...

You see, we'd recognise that only a tiny portion of sex came into the category of love making.
Sex where a key part of the pleasure was the person you were having it with. I guess we already aspire to this, this is how we see sex within relationships. It's not just the sex that is pleasurable, but the person you are having it with is someone you have strong connections to.

However, I would argue that we still go wrong here. Love making is obviously far more exclusive than just sex, but I don't think it's true that you can't love more than one person at some level, at the same time. Love making is an expression of love, but I do think we all have a lot more love to go round than we think we have.

And I would reserve a higher word than orgasm for the perfect conclusion of this act; Ecstasy. All ecstasies are orgasms, but not all orgasms are ecstasies. The definition of an ecstasy, in this conceptualisation, is orgasm with someone you love and connect to.

And I would argue this freeing of even love making from the concept of monogamy frees us to search for a higher concept still.
One which be the ultimate Holy Grail of Human life.

And one which, it must be admitted would be something many sought after, but few would ever enjoy.

Beyond simple love making.

THIS would be the one you could only EVER have with one person, and most people would never have it with any...

The mutual ecstasy of two people bonded intellectually and spiritually, people who do not just feel for eachother, but find themselves in eachother, people for whom this is not a physical act, but a merger of body, soul and mind. The physical act is merely the framework upon wish the transcendant sensation of two souls blending into eachother at the moment of mutual climax is built.

And for THAT, I reserve the term Rapture. All raptures are ecstasies, but only a tiny minority of ecstasies are rapture.

And I believe every human being has the right to search for that, the most perfect of human experiences conceivable.
To search, unbounded by the shackles of our past attitudes, to truly find that, to find that ultimate perfection.

Love making is sex with affection, tenderness and intimacy added.

This is beyond, this is love making with intellectual connection, sympathetic understanding and a feeling that your souls were separated by God in to different bodies added on to it, it is a wish, a yearning to merge your bodies, minds and souls into one being that can never be divided again.

It is so far beyond that so far humanity has experienced the concept so rarely, that it doesn't yet quite know that it is what we are all striving for, the most perfect feeling, the closest approach to Heaven a mortal can make; so far away from the norm of general experience that there is yet no word for this concept which is to love making, what love making is to sex.

So I'm going to give it one.

From the Greek for unity of souls I give you; Psychenotity.

The Ultimate Human Experience, Psychenotity.


Anonymous said...

Um, ok, but can it be without the soundtrack? and I like my back rubbed afterwards with your fingers trailing against the backs of my legs, and lots of pillow talk before, and teasing and playful nibbles and licks, and don't tweak my nipples too hard when I'm ovulating, and no don't chase me, remember what happened 12 years ago, I tend to get panicked, and please don't do that because that asshole who beat the fuck out of me used to do that and it makes me think of him, and, well hell, I'd rather make love to someone who loves me than just fuck for the sake of fucking.

Anonymous said...

Which is why I will just stay celibate until I find that sort of connection with another human being..that I feel would not let me down or not let me fall. Are there any of those left in the world do you think?

I still get confused though between biology and morals. Does my biology dictate to me that I just want the one partner or do my morals and values and assumptions on 'true love'??

Anonymous said...

Your definitions are perfect.

Not all orgasms are ecstasy; some are, and though we are sometimes surprised by a sudden turn of ecstasy, many are just relief. And why do so many people feel it is their job to hold as many people back from relief as they can?

That of course is tied in with Christian religion and control. Sex to many from this camp is not seen as a necessary function of pure "humanness", but as a dirty act fit only for animals...

So let me get this straight: god created us to do this, and somebody else--who claims to represent god to a congregation--is going to tell me that I in fact should not enjoy my humanity, my gift from god?

That part is where the control issue comes in, men stepping between god and us in order to exert worldly power in any way that they can. And I won't rant any more on it, you know and I know this tack... We've been over it a lot over the years on these blogs. And of course I'm not preaching at you about something you and I agree with, I'm just presenting it.

And ecstacy in relation to rapture... that too hit home.

When we do find, any of us, lets simply cherish it for what it is. Perfection of a moment is so unheard of... Many times we don't even know we have found it until after the fact, and then sometimes it's too late.

From romance to tragedy. So often it is that way.

But I am happy to know ebough to enjoy it while I can.

And of course, I don't mean to bring God into it, many rue the mention. But all of this to me, well, it's a miracle and if I want to atribute earthly grace to God, so be it. It's my life, my experience.

You got me going... I could go on and on.

Glad to read you when you too are in a very good mood sir. It shines through your words.

Have a great one, mate.

Peace out

Anonymous said...

Had to smoke a cigarette after that one. I smoke one every few days now. Tough habit to relinquish fully... but I'm getting there. :)

Of course, once more I feel it should be said, the third paragraph where i really went off the "you" was not you, but the originators of the ideas that have for so long conditioned our society until we found ourselves in the corner that we are now slowly leaving behind.

As your other responders have said in essence, it should our choice to do or do not, and not another's mandate or guilt rip or whatever method is used to tell us to stop doing something that is part of who we are.

OK, now I think I am done!

Take it easy on this beautiful first day of October.

Anonymous said...

This is the same line you spun me when you used me and then ditched me! You dont call you dont txt... I loved you and this is how it ends....you bitch!

Anonymous said...

I think more women should learn to chase guys - then they will have more to chose from - but then again - some guys don't like a lady who comes on to strong - I think that they find that emasculating - they are the man - I appreciate having the guy do the chasing - but in the bedroom I prefer a change of roles as often as possible to keep things interesting. To be honest with you I think your descriptions are dead on - Oh to reach the pentacle some day! Cat

Anonymous said...

Helen- Rather make love to someone who loves you, or someone you love?

The two aren't always the same thing.

Yes, I agree making love is a higher experience than sex and I would argue that 'psychenotity' is higher and rarer still.

It's something I'm sure I'd RATHER do, but not all of us are in a position to do so. So we have to make do with simple, mundane fucking.

Kate- Yes, I think there are. Though the point is, it's only possible if you connect at a deepr level. What I would regard as a profound let down to me, you might not. And this of course is a key barrier.

You need to find someone who instinctively knows where your weak points are, not so they can hurt you, or use those points to control you, but so they can protect them. People don't always hurt you because they mean to- just they don't know any better.

My biology pretty much tells me that the proportion of women between 20 ish and 45 ish that I wouldn't go to bed with if I was drunk enough are probably greater than 50%. Certainly if they're petite/slender/dark/shy/ditzy/intelligent/whorish, take your pick.

But at the same time I firmly believe that it's a whole different ball game when you genuinely connect to someone.

Eric- Usually because they never get any themselves, I fear...

Immorality is so often the name we give to very pleasures we crave but deprive ourselves of...

Yes, I've often wondered nobody ever pointed out this flaw in thinking to the puritans. If God didn't want us to do it, why not think of another way of baby making? Trees perhaps?

My belief is that Jesus and others imposed these rules because man had not yet learned to overthrown the need to possess, therefore sexual jealousy meant these rules were needed.

But a mankind that knows how to love can practise Free Love, I think.

And, yes, to my Christian critics I THINK JESUS WOULLD HAVE AGREED.

A good mood, kind of.

I'm feeling a kind of purity of faith and love at the moment and it's kind of washing over me :)

Where will it go? Christ knows, but sometimes you just got to live for the moment. I don't expect any more than that. The moment.

You trying to give up fags and all? Me too, it's a bugger ain't it?

I've been on thirty a day for at least ten years.

Mutley- It's what I tend to do ;)

Cat- It depends on coming on strong.
To be honest, I'm not remotely hard to seduce. However, I don't respond well to STAYING on strong, if you catch my drift.
I really don't mind women who do the running, my only concern is that in my experience they then tend to squat right in the middle of your life expanding to fill as many corners of it as they possibly can and they're often damn hard to evict.

No reason it SHOULD be like that.

Just that I think the girls really worth knowing are still a bit nervous and reserved about doing the running.

I believe in the POSSIBILITy of psychenotity, and whilst I concede it's not something I've experienced personally I can actually conceptualise it.

Anonymous said...

Haha LOL at Mutley...he is amusing.

Sex itself would be a simple bodily function. No one would feel any qualms having it with anyone else. Gone are the days when it is frowned on for a woman to be sexually promiscuous....

Yes Crushed you may be right BUT...like a lot of women, I am just picky who I want to share body fluids with, just cos we get the urge to have sex, there are those of us who wont just hump the next guy who comes along ..LOL sorry just had to say it :)