Wednesday 21 March 2007

Forcing women to live up to male ideals

I see they are trailing something on the telescreen about Ulrika Jonson dealing with her 'sex addiction'.
Maybe I've lost the plot here.
I find myself asking what is a 'sex addiction' (think most of us have that) and why is it a problem?

I suppose the reality is it creates problems for her because of the way others judge it.
It is still much more of a scandal for a woman to be promiscuous and- God forbid- enjoy sex. Therefore it hits a woman's career much harder if she is seen in this way.

Put it this way, I remember reading an article in the Telegraph about Russell Brand (not someone I have much time for, I'll be honest). The writer was basically saying that if his reputation as a womaniser was built purely on his conquest of Kate Moss, then that meant nothing because Kate 'wasn't exactly picky'. In other words, what would make Russell Brand heroic, would make Kate Moss slutty.

This is complete hypocrisy. If we really have been through the feminist revolution, then it is time women were judged the same as men in that respect too. If a male celebrity is considered sexually attractive, we expect to hear endless tales of his sexual conquests. Why should the same not be true of sexually attractive female celebrities?
Why do we not regard a woman highly for behaving the way a well thought of man would behave?

Deep down, we still seem to be stuck with the idea of sex as 'dirty' and women who practise it a lot with many partners as 'dirty' too.
How medieval.
Yet isn't it perfectly NORMAL for an attractive woman to attract much male attention?
And doesn't a normal woman- as opposed to one kept down by archaic male hang ups- enjoy sex for its own sake, just as men do?
Look at older cultures- their embodiments of womanhood, Aphrodite, Freya, were hardly paragons of chastity, quite the reverse. Personally, I have come to find that a more attractive ideal. I guess party because that's how we are meant to be. Have a look at the Bonobo chimp. That's how we are programmed and that is our route to happiness.

Instead of condemning women for expressing their sexuality without restraint, it is time we celebrated it. This is the last bastion of male supremacy and it is the one for wich the rest of male supremacy was developed to keep in place.
When it has gone, the war of the sexes will be over and men and women will not face eachother as adversaries fighting a war of standards.

Stop judging women for something they should take pride in.


Anonymous said...

Nice to meet a fellow 'male' feminist, although I don't think we should particularly be promoting infidelity on either side of the gender gap.

Just on a side note: Do you think that we should legalise polygamy? I'm fairly libertarian on social matters and have been wondering about this. Who are we as a society to say that anyone has to live in a coupled-relationship? I'm undecided on the issue.

Not that i'm looking for a polyamous marriage you understand ;)

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think that 'marriages' should be removed from the civil realm. If people want to marry for religous/cultural reasons to however many partners they feel like, it should be a purely personal matter. It should not have any legal bearing, merely matter to the people concerned.
That way we could get rid of our bizarre divorce laws and treat all partnerships- civil, business, whatever,- on the same footing with the same logic applying. You get out of it what you put in, proportionally.
Infidelity is only infidelity if a set of promises has been made. Why we should expect such promises of someone we love escapes me. If we really loved them, why should such a silly thing matter?
There are still far too many male hang ups around and one of them is proprietary rights to 'your' woman's body.

Anonymous said...

g'day mate.

I've seen the damage that sex addicts can achieve both to themselves and those around them.

These are people who need to fuck, not want to fuck. They'll fuck fruit, strippers, a hole in the toilet wall, anything - all without protection.

Its damaging when they leave work repeatedly to get laid, they are 'addicted' to porn, and they repeatedly cheat on their partners, who cannot keep up with the sex drive. Be mindful that sex addicts are not normally emotionally involved with the other party. They're just fucking and all they're thinking about is themselves and when they'll next lose their load.

Its a real issue.

Anonymous said...

As a thinker once said, woman had a lot more to lose in the sexual revolution than men. The weight of the lost connection between sex and marriage has been borne by the women.

Your approach is very convenient for a bloke looking for a shag. The result is not so helpful for a women left with children that no man wants to invest in. And this responsibility lasts beyond the flush of irrisistable youth as many women have found to their cost. Meanwhile the hapless man is probably still running around looking for someone else to bed - no doubt hoping she's 'sexually liberated'.

When you say Look at older cultures, I read Look at dead cultures just before their collapse.

Also, you describe a 'male hang up' such as proprietary rights to 'your' woman's body.
Well, apart from your making it sound like a commodity, a husband and wife's bodies are each other's. It works both ways in the love and commitment of marriage.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Onyx Stone, but I don't see why a loving relationship should depend on mutual exclusivity. It's a bit of an odd idea, if you think about it rationally. Don't get me wrong, I think part of the problem is today, men want to have it both ways. Thet want to be polygamous with women who are monogamous. I'm just saying it's time women joined men in these stakes and started taking as much pride and pleasure in it as men do.
It's the idea of settling down with someone sexually promiscuous that a lot of people- mainly men- seem to have a very possessive hang up about.
Miss Smack, the situation you describe isn't good at all. But everyone was a lot freer about these things, then people probably would be forced into these situations less.

I expect a barrage of criticism...

Anonymous said...

Ok Crushed by Ingsoc, wait till you have a daughter, and see if that's still what you want for her.

Anonymous said...

Mate, already been through that mental excercise.
Came out the other side.

My opinions on this subject are 100% genuine.

Have a think about it, come back to me in a bit.

Anonymous said...

hmm i'll have a think about this

Anonymous said...

Sex addiction can lead to all sorts of high risk behaviour and loss of jobs, careers, respect blah blah fucking blah...however a true sex addict is addicted to the actual orgasms and can in fact remain faithful , not addicted to porn, never get a sex disease or be promiscious.
I rest my case and have to