Sunday 23 March 2008

Crushed, My Dorian Gray

Who is Crushed?
Is he my creation? Or more than that?

What are we here?

Are we not just as real here as in real life?

I know the layout of this blog as well as my own flat.
It feels like home when I clap eyes on it, it is familiar, it is mine, it is my virtual living room.

And me?
Isn't Crushed Dorian Gray, and me the picture?

In a very real sense, isn't Crushed actually my name, and isn't this actually what I look like?

Sometimes, I think I'd rather just BE Crushed, and live in here forever.
Just an avatar playing with all the other avatars.


Anonymous said...

Then perhaps it's time you took a break from the internet and got back in touch with 'real' life for a while?

The internet is all well and good for entertainment and even more serious pursuits but when it gets to the point where a virtual 'home' (if you could call it that) becomes more comfortable than your actual home, then perhaps some respite is in order?

It's too easy to get lost among the bits you don't notice the fatal byte.

Anonymous said...

I know it's 2 am here, but I'm a little lost, Crushed!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you are just scared to be you in RL ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oestrebunny- Well, don't forget, much of the time I look at it, I am actually in my flat.

It's not so much I want to live IN it, it's just I sometimes feel that there is more point to Crushed than there is to Joe.

Have you ever seen 'Being John Malkovich'? That is such a crazily mad film, but it so opens up your trains of thought. Love it, love it, love it.

Keep transferring your mind, forever, from one body to another.

Welshcakes- I suppose it was about me and well, I don't know, sometimes I wish I was just Crushed and that was it. I'm guessing that avatars who don't have real life people behind them (not that I've met one yet, I suspect there aren't too many :)), probably have it cushy.

Cherrypie- I am very much me in RL, but it's a different side.

I work in a very male dominated sector, where my own particular trademark is a certain type of camp exuberance.

I drink in working men's pubs, where most of the conversation is football and the smoking ban.

This means, I get intelligent conversations mainly at weekends.

And of course, blogging.

Anonymous said...

> Sometimes, I think I'd rather just BE Crushed, and live in here forever.
Just an avatar playing with all the other avatars.
*nods* I can understand that.

I like this post, and the picture.

One could create a new life here, almost...

Anonymous said...

I don't think it particularly matters where you log on Crushed.

The point is that if your online life is starting mean more to you than your real life, then it's time to take a break.

Anonymous said...

I agree with your good friend, Oestrebunny.

I guess blogs allow us to become someone we WISH we were. Without bills, responsibilities of the real life, consequences of real life... maybe when the real life clashes with the fantasy is where you get a bit muddled.

At the end of the day, the blog won't keep you warm at night, won't smile back at you when you crack a funny yarn, and won't love you as a human could.

Anonymous said...

Eve- I was always accused of BEING Dorian Gray at Uni, and some people still call me that.
I think it's a facinating book, a fascinating idea, and its about conscience, I think.

The picture is his conscience.

Oestrebunny- I don't know. The word Avatar itself is interesting, because it comes from Hindu thought, meaning an aspect.
In Hinduism, everyone is an avatar of Brahma, so in fact we're all aspects of him.

I do worry a lot about it. In fact, some would say too much. I had an RL issue over the last couple of months that perhaps should have been more serious, but it resolved itself very easy in fact, so perhapd I was right not to worry about it.

Ms S- To be fair, one does seem to get more interesting conversation here, a lot of the time.
Bills, responsibilities, yes, they are a pain.

I suppose of the points you list, its the not being kept warm at night that most stands out. I do wake up a lot wanting someone there. I do miss that. More so now I'm on my own in the flat.

Still, I've got friends around me, and they fulfill most of my needs- for now, anyway.

Anonymous said...

The thngs I say and do on this medium are the same things that I say every day. Only here, I have a lot more people who want to hear it.

I love it, because quite a few people on this medium are like me in that they have to look far and wide for people who they truly get along with, despite the many differences in personality, background or physicall appearance.

This was my understanding of it.

Anonymous said...

> The picture is his conscience.

That's a good interpretation. I like it.

Yes, a fascinating book.