A religion? I guess it was. To me, it had almost religious significance.
Love? It was that too.
Total euphoria, total fulfillment. What can ever compare to dancing on a podium in full view of hundreds of people, feeling the vibe, feeling the love?
Yes, I'll miss it. Very much so, I'll miss it. They were the good times, the happy moments. They were the moments that made everything else worth living for. There was hope there. A world free of much of the nastiness of modern life. A world where total strangers can collide and find love in a few instants, to move on, not even knowing eachother's names.
A world where many friends were made and lost. A world of extremes, both of pleasure and of pain.
I guess you find other things in your life. You do move on, I think. I think I've finally exhausted the scene, or maybe it's just, it is no longer the scene it was to me at twenty. But I think the happiest memories of my life will always be associated with it.
When it was great, it was Heaven, and when it was bad, it wasn't so bad.
Life is change, but as long you have a wealth of good memories, the past is never wasted.
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7 comments:
Why miss it?
If you like it keep going, you're only 30.
"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." I Cor. xiii. 11
Not quite the right words but you get the idea. Supposedly there are seven stages of man and this is one of them for some modern youth. Count your lucky stars that you survived it, although not without severe consequences.
I remember my ravy days with fondness, but alas mine have been longer gone than yours. Unfortunately, for my generation, we either grew out of it, or died (literally).
I'm glad to see you're growing out of it.
A wealth of some good and bad memories, hopefully to learn from them all :-)
You know I feel the same way about snogging in a night club some guy a few years younger who doesn't know any thing about me etc etc....good bye night clubs. good bye anonymous lust-interests, good bye young, drunken crowd.
And I am totally cool with my moving on from that, I started at 18 and had years of it before I married and then for a tiny bit after my divorce.
And yet, watching Sex and the City...those girls are in their late thirties and were still getting pissed in clubs...so I don't know.
Has it ended for me or am I just on hiatus? :)
> Life is change, but as long you have a wealth of good memories, the past is never wasted.
Hmm. I tend to not look back, and tend to not remember. Sure there must have been good times; but they're inextricably linked with the regrets... and so I move on, and try to create clean new memories...
Beast- Well, several reasons really. I'm not saying the odd little session here and there isn't possible, but it's no longer as practical as it was. And it does take it's toll.
jmb- I did survive it, yes. And I probably did it more extreme than most. It's hard to give up. As I was saying to CS recently, the problem is hard to move on from something that is, of it's nature, just so enjoyable.
But at a deeper level, it no longer has quite the fulfillment factor it once did. That's not to say, I'll ever stop partying, I doubt that, I'm off to one next weekend, but the full on hedonism is, I think, a thing of the past.
x-dell- I actually surprised myself recently in my willpower.
I'd been to a party on the Friday and early Saturday morning my mate's brother started telling me about some Rave in Somerset somewhere. All it involved was a car journey to Shrewsbury to pick up what was described as (and prbably was) a vast supply of goodies.
Five years ago, I'd have said yes. I'd have said 'sod work, i'll ring in sick', even though no one would have believed me. But this time, I actually said 'No mate, can't. It's my job on the line.'
Nunyaa- Yes, it was interesting. Some strange tales in there. Some romantic, some sordid, some downright freaky. all part of life's rich tapestry.
Kate- I know what you mean. I had a long break from in my very early twenties, because I settled down and did the whole domestic couple thing. It was horrid- I kept dreaming almost nightly about coming up whilst dancing, I missed it so much.
I'm not so bothered by the whole thing these days, I tend to prefer house parties.
I think maybe we're all always on hiatus. I suppose the trick is, balance. I guess we all party like mad because we're afraid that drudgery will sieze us before we know it.
Eve- Oh God, there are always awful memories. I have some pretty dark memories lurking in there, well, as you know, I still don't sleep well as a result.
But good memories kep you going, and bad memories show you where not to go :)
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