Blogging Identity and Boundaries

It's a funny medium, and it's still a young medium.
And hidden dangers lurk within.

One of the benefits is that it enables people to be a lot freer than in real life. Boundaries seem to come tumbling down here, people talk to people they maybe wouldn't talk to in real life, they read things they maybe wouldn't read, take an interest in things that they might not otherwise have thought about, and (often) flirt shamelessly, knowing it's not real, the chances of actually meeting those you flirt with are small.

It's several things rolled into one. It's thoughts we share primarily, so it's partly an interactive newspaper column, partly a public forum, partly a place to offload things you can't offload elsewhere.

And what makes this possible?
Ironically, a huge boundary.

The boundary between this and RL.
And unless this is maintained, there can be no bloggosphere.

This doesn't mean that bloggers cannot post about RL issues- I do, we all do.
What it does mean, is that the right of each of us to decide how much of RL we put into our online creations, our avatars is up to us. Or not.

And this needs to be respected, or the beauty of this medium is lost.

This isn't a chatroom, or a bar. There has to be a certain professionalism, a work ethic even. We need not only to keep our blogs free from RL issues, we have a moral obligation to treat others with the same courtesy.



Now here is where we come to grey areas. An e-mail sent to me, is sent in confidence. I cannot in all conscience reveal its contents on my blog. The same goes for an IM conversation. Strictly speaking, it shouldn't be alluded to, unless its content is threatening, in which case it should be done in a way that doesn't actually name the blogger.

The bottom line is, no matter what connections you might make with another blogger, even if you disappear off for a passionate weekend together in Barbados, when you return and you go online, you still have to treat them as an avatar- you logged in as an avatar, you are commenting at the blog of an avatar. Your real names are forgotten, anything the two of you said to eachother offline are forgotten. They didn't happen in the bloggosphere, therefore they didn't happen, period.

It is not acceptable to state publically anything the other person has not consented to being said online.

It is not acceptable to drag online RL facts about a blogger, that they have not consented to being brought online.

I'm not saying that bloggers cannot form friendships, maybe even more.
But if they do, they should keep them offline.
And if they fall out, that too, should stay offline.
Treat the bloggosphere as you would your workplace, in that sense.

And always observe the barriers people put around their online identities. Treat them as sacred.



And as for you, watch yourself. Take care of how much you trust others. I'm not saying you shouldn't, most people here are lovely people. But there are people who let personal emotions into a medium where they have no place. And if they feel for whatever reason you've treated them harshly offline, will bring it online.

You don't want to spend your online life seeing snide comments left after yours everywhere you go, by someone using your own blogroll to character assassinate you to your own readers.

Of course such behaviour is fundamentally wrong. But there are people who will degrade this medium in such a way. There are people who cannot see that it is in the same league as a jilted lover standing outside your place of work with a placard.

It's easier to deal with such issues in RL. If you don't want to hear from someone again, it's easily done. There's a limit to the harm they can do. Here, they can cause untold damage to something of immense value to you.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, not even the woman (or man)of your dreams, is worth jeopardising your blog over. Crossing that threshold into Real Life poses a real danger to something very precious to you. And it is precious- I know many of you treat your blogs with real love- I know I do.


Take care. Be warned.
Don't learn the hard way.

I should return to normal blog visiting again soon. Tomorrow or the day after, maybe. Right now I thought I'd go have a pint and try seduce the barmaid.

After all, that's partly what the pub is for.
The bloggosphere?
Something infinitely more precious.