I guess one of the most important points about my anonymity has always been that maybe too much truth about the blogger in question would discredit what I write (at least to the more serious reader). Because certainly, the way I lead my life is exactly what many people, certainly the 'moral majority' feel strongly against. In RL, I make no apologies for it. I have absolutely no regrets, I don't even REALLY regret the poor decisions I've made, because you only become wise through experience, and experience necessitates WRONG decisions.
Hey, I ain't never gonna be respectable. Do I care?
No.
Life's more fun NOT being respectable.
And in fact you can still be respected, when not respectable.
Most of my twenties have been dominated by the Rave/dance club culture, in extremis. I'm not the sort of person to go into things in a half hearted way. So if you really want a mental image of this blogger feeling REALLY in his element, picture a 5ft7 male, dark curly hair, black t-shirt, black trousers, on a podium in a dance club.
There have been times when it has completely dominated my life. I love it. I love the culture, I love the music, I love the freedom, I love the people, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the substance use that goes along with it.
Don't get me wrong, I've paid a price. But the price was worth paying.
An eight hour session in a proper dance club is about as fulfilling as you can get. It releases so much energy, so much testosterone, you free yourself from the deadly monotony and wage slavery you live under.
It's one big release, one big rebellion, one huge assertion of your humanity, your energy, your desire to emote and bond.
It's such an atmosphere of love. Total strangers hug you, people look after eachother, there's none of the drunken aggression of the ordinary clubbing world.
And the Love is Free.
It's a scene where there will be a party to go to afterwards, potentially a night out can go on for days, you and your mates will get invited to a party by people you've never met before, whilst there you'll hear about another.
This is the real reason the scene is hated. Because it's such a threat to the calm ordered world of everyone living in their own boxes never talking to eachother.
But there is a large group of people in their late twenties and early thirties who KNOW;
- That you can give Love for free. And if you give it free, you get it back free. You don't need to go round owning people. You can love as many people as you want. It doesn't have to be forever, and there don't need to be any rules.
- Not everything that is blanketly thrown into that list of 'evil' substances is actually that evil. Heroin, yes, that's an evil poison. Crack Cocaine, likewise. But Ecstasy? It DOES cause problems for you as a user, yes. But only because it's illegal. Tot up how many people die every year from alcohol use. Then tot up how many of the half a million people who use Ecstasy every weekend wind up dead. Trust me. I must have had thousands of pills over the last ten years. But think about it, most of you have had thousands of alcoholic drinks over ten years (I'm sure I have, too). An Alcohol user is not necessarily an alcohol AB-user. Nor is an Ecstasy user. Besides, it's widely agreed Ecstasy is NON-ADDICTIVE.
- There are way better ways to spend your time than watching TV. Also, spending time with as many people as possible and always getting to meet new people, is a worthwhile way to live.
- Work Hard, Play Hard isn't a bad ethic. You've slaved your guts out for fifty hours a week. It's up to YOU to decide how YOU want to live YOUR life.
- Most people take a lot of crap too seriously. Life's too short. Just get on and make the most of it and don't waste time on trivialities.
I think basically, I found a new world in the dance culture, it gave me faith in what we as a species can be, when we overthrow these old taboos and climb out of our little boxes.
When people can give love freely, when it's not a bargain, and WHEN LOVE DOESN'T OWN.
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14 comments:
Total strangers hug you
I would die...Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I've never understood why total strangers find it acceptable to touch other total strangers. It's called personal space, why doesn't anyone respect that anymore? Man or woman, there is no need for over-familiarity and touching, high or not.
How do you know it's love if it derived from substance abuse? Isn't it really frottage described as love?
Do you really think Ecstasy is non-addictive?
I have seen evidence to state the opposite.
Dancing is free, but you pay a high price for Ecstasy.
Real ecstasy exists in your Soul.
So you'd be another one who skips 'rest hard'! I always feel that sleeping is such a waste of time when there's so much life to experience.
Cheers
This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.
What's a "Rave"?
Hmmm... depends on the definition of love... I could say that affection, and disinterested love (the kind where you're willing to give help to everyone, regardless of sex) doesn't own... but hmmm... the Bible says that God is a jealous God, and that he wants us all for himself (and yet he gives us freedom to choose)... and we do know that God is love... so I guess I'd say, true love is jealous and possessive, but doesn't force... it does its part and waits for a response, but without it, keeps loving anyway...
Oestrebunny- But in that environment it's the way it is. I'm quite comfortable with it myself.
I am defensive re my personal space, though not in a physical sense so much.
Alexys- Well, firstly I don't see it as 'substance AB-use'. Secondly, it isn't derived from the substances.
Ecstasy is physically non-addictive, but yes, it is habit forming simply because it's so nice a feeling it gives you.
I don't really use it much these days, but I used to enjoy it very much.
Maddy- rest hard, yes, looking forward to doing a bit of that over the Christmas break.
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
Ordo- :) It's those of us born in the seventies trying to resucitate the ideals of those who lived in the sixties and sold out in the eighties.
Eve- 'I could say that affection, and disinterested love (the kind where you're willing to give help to everyone, regardless of sex)'
But can't you see, THAT, what you have just described is TRUE love.
The other kind, the possessive, jeralous kind, that's an aberration.
It used to be rave central around here. In the nineties, they were everywhere.
There's still a few around, and you have to really look for them, but you can find them, and just like there, the culture and the atmosphere can't be touched by any other place.
It was never my idea of fun and I did go to a lot of raves in the 80s including like huge illegal ones...I must say I prefer a place with a lot of conversation, which is mostly missing at raves and similar things...
Well that scene, while with different substances, never appealed to me in my twenties. Too loud and as Mutley says not enough conversation.
I think your title says it all. Rebelling. This is what strikes me about this post.
Don't kid yourself about ecstasy. Just ask any ER doctor. After all you are not buying it from a quality controlled source.
Check this out for long term effects.
It's those of us born in the seventies trying to resucitate the ideals of those who lived in the sixties and sold out in the eighties.
Sounds like a general description of the 1990s. I was a 'crusty' myself, (A different scene. The love was free there too, but somewhat smellier) but then I ditched the dog and had a bath ;)
Eric- I think it's only those of us of that certain age group who REALLy get it. If you never listened to 'Injected with a Poison' first hand, you will never get it.
jmb- This is the down side with the current legal situation. No one has EVER died from taking Ecstasy, only from allergic reactions to the crap dealers stick in it.
The conversations one has in the after club parties are amazing, in fact it's the after club parties I enjoy most.
There's risk with everything, but in my opinion alcohol is a far nastier drug.
Ordo- I think many of us, in our different ways growing up at that time just turned round and looked at the world and found it an emotionally dead place and we reached out for eachother in different ways.
Mutley- How did I miss you out?
You have the conversations later :)
It's all about actions, not words...
*grins*
CBI... better see a doctor for your cough (and you need to stop smoking! Don't you think it's a little early to be getting sick...?) Am concerned.. :-)
You think we haven't been there, we children of the swinging 60s? Ok, the scene's moved on but desire doean't change that much. What you are getting is not "love", Crushed. It is comforting, it gets you through the night but it is not "love".
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