Tuesday 29 May 2007

Not Born Yesterday, Scam Merchants

I get sick of this junk. These scummy scams are so obvious, they might as well be an ITV quiz show.

In my inbox this morning.

The British National Lottery
P O Box 1010
3b Olympic Way, Sefton Business Park,
Aintree, Liverpool , L30 1RD
(Customer Services)

Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369
Ticket number:56475600545 188
Lucky Numbers: 05,06,17,20,28,42(Bonus33)

Dear Winner

We wish to congratulate and inform you on the selection of cash prize of £ 1000,000.00 (British Pounds) held on the 1st March 2007 in London Uk.The selection process was carried out through random selection in Our computerized email selection system (ess) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were selected. And Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers: 05, 06, 17, 20, 28, 42 ( Bonus 33) , which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category i.e match 5
plus bonus.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 1 Million Pounds,(One Million Pounds) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. This is from a total cash prize of £ 1000,000 Million Pounds , shared amongst the(4)lucky winners in this category i.e Match 6 plus bonus.

For due processing of your winning claim, please contact the FIDUCIARY AGENT Information Officer Mr. Roy Phil who has been assigned to assist you. You are to contact him with the following details for the release of your winnings.
Agent Name: Mr. Roy Phil,
Tel: +44 70457 10544
Email: britishlottery_claimdept07@yahoo.co.uk
contact him, please provide him with the following Requirements below:

Claims Requirements:
1.Name in full------------------------------
7.Present Country------------------------

If you do not contact your claims agent within 5 working days of this Notification, your winnings would be revoked. Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information from the public to avoid Fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT) pending the prize claim by Winner.

*Winner under the age of 18 are automatically disqualified. *Staff of the British Lottery are not to partake in this Lottery.

Accept my hearty congratulations once again!

Mrs. Stella Ellis
(Group Coordinator

Note that you are not to reply to this E-mail,please contact your claims officer directly to start the processing of your claims application form.

Great. I'm rich. But- er - why do I have to ring some dodgy dude on a mobile to claim? Why can't I ring your customer service department, British Lottery?

And if you are dividing a prize fund of one million betwen four winners, how is my share STILL A Million?

And how do you make a profit? Where does this prize money come from?

I would e mail to ask these questions, but apparently they don't want me to.

Anyway, if you fancy claiming my million quid for me, or even just want to set up an internet scam of your own and need advice, why not ring Roy on the number he kindly gave me?

That's 07045 710544


Anonymous said...

"The number you have dialled has not been recognised"

Anonymous said...

The trouble is that some people will be fooled. then again, my father-in-law is so dotty that if they tried it on him, he'd probably end up getting money out of them, they'd all be so confused. we can hope anyway.

Anonymous said...

hurry now ingsoc!!! you may forfeit your one opportunity to become a rich bastard. make sure to send them all, all, all your personal, private info and a processing fee of $500 (i can't find the pounds symbol).

i am confused though as i didn't see the very typical, "don't forget to forward this email to fifty of your buddies or you'll suffer a heart attack in the next twenty minutes.... this is serious!!!"

Anonymous said...

Mrs Stella Forgot-surname could do with some instruction on the use of the conditional tense, too. This kind of rubbish clogging up yourin-box is so irritating, I agree.

Anonymous said...

nope....number not recognised.

i rang the number hoping to do some heavy breathing and maybe score some phone sex, but it was not to be....

Anonymous said...

The spam seems to be out of control lately.

Personally I would leave the number up and running. Let the idiots get fleeced once they are skint there will be nop oint sending out spam. Seems to be the only way it is going to stop. My original plan of execution of the dozy people who call does not seem to meet with peoples approval.

Anonymous said...

Liz- that's the people about

Raffi- Don't worry. I won one and a half million last friday, and I have a dead relative I never heard of whose money is in a bank in Burkina Faso.
According to my inbox

Welshcakes- the grammar throughout is pisspoor. And the multiplicity of contact information/e mail addresses contained within is also a giveaway.

JJ- I suspect he probably also runs some phone sex scams.

Bag- There's one born everyday. Otherwise People wouldn't STILL be calling 09 numbers to answer inane TV quiz questions.

Anonymous said...

Thats so freaky. One of my workmates got one of those IN THE MAIL from SPAIN the other day. Apparently the story they sent was that they had bought the ticket for her and were now keeping her share of the winning safe.

Send $1000 to this address... etc etc etc.

The creepy bit - they had her name and address to send it to her.

Anonymous said...

This is a great website, where people write back to the scammers - anti-scam - and give them a taste of their own medicine. The focus is on the Nigerian ones, but I guess you could apply the same principle to lottery scams: